Naturally, I bristle at people ignoring me except to say hurtful things, like, “Eww! Gross! Eat with your mouth closed!” and who then turn right around and say, “Shut up about buying gold and silver!”
But how do I not eat and talk? Man, it has been said, cannot live on bread alone! Unless, of course, it is made into a nice, big sandwich with all the fixins, maybe with a tall, cool beverage and a fresh bag of potato chips, you’re bent over the plate like some kind of starving Neanderthal, noisily shoveling it in your mouth with both hands, perhaps while you are watching TV, necessitating changing channels by hitting the remote control with your elbow.
In polite deference to the easily offended, I swallow the last of a sandwich, whereupon I take up my one-sided conversation to say that buying gold and silver is the smartest thing you can do when the Federal Reserve is creating So Freaking Much Money (SFFM), as it creates horrific inflation in prices, with the historical evidence strongly indicating that the long-term percentage increase in prices matches the percentage increase in the money supply, which, if true, means that We’re Freaking Doomed (WFD)!
And since the Federal Reserve is creating more and more money with mindless abandon, you can see how the resultant inflation in prices rising with similar mindless abandon is enough to make one want to run, pell-mell, to one’s Mogambo Bunker Of Go Away (MBOGA) in a kind of nervous panic, seeking the security of locked doors, defense systems on “armed,” holding gold coins in one hand and the trigger of something large-caliber in the other.
I don’t personally know if Doug Noland, the author of the Credit Bubble Report at Prudent Bear.com, is in his bunker or not, or even has one or not, and if not, then I salute his courage, because he has the necessary facts to proclaim a Full-Alert Mogambo Response (FAMR) when reports that “Federal Reserve Credit jumped $13.9bn to a record $2.582 TN (19-wk gain of $301bn). Fed Credit was up $174bn y-t-d and $284bn from a year ago, or 12.4%”! Yikes! Big percentages!
And this Fed Credit is the “out of thin air” first step to making new money, and which is multiplied many, many times over by the fractional-reserve multiplier when this new Fed Credit hits the banks. Free money! Whee!
Of course, that “Whee!” at the end was intended as sarcasm, and I see that “Whee!” really “doesn’t work,” mostly because it is so far away from the origin of all the misery, which is the Federal Reserve in creating the new credit in the first place, and for whom I reserve a special, dark place in my heart where I put dreams of revenge.
And since “living well’ is, they say, the best revenge, I have now decided to live well! In this case, I will find out where a few of these Federal Reserve morons live, drive by their houses at 3:00 a.m., and honk my horn exactly 79 times to signify gold’s atomic number on the periodic table, so that they know it’s me – the guy who knows they are idiots for not insisting on a gold standard, which they would do if they were competent economists, instead of insisting on a fiat currency made of electronic digits, which is the Exact Wrong Thing To Do (EWTTD).
Then, after going out to a late dinner at a fabulous restaurant, I’ll have a wonderful time doing it again on the way home a few hours later! Hahaha!
“Ahh!” I sigh to myself as I think of it. “Sweet revenge!”
Before you get all agog that I remembered that the atomic number of gold is 79, I have to admit that a Google search took me to webelements.com to verify that the atomic number was, indeed, 79, as I had remembered, surprising nobody more than I, and which I hope to remember the next time anybody says, “Can’t you remember anything anymore, you worthless old fart?”
But I learned, as a result of the site, that the group of elements of the periodic table that contains silver and gold is named the “oinage metal” group and that the group also contains roentgenium, whatever in the hell that is.
But it sounds radioactive, and it is (in spades!), it doesn’t exist in nature, it has a half-life of around ten minutes, gives off no x-rays when it decays, and has the symbol Rg, which sounds like the sound you make (“Urgg!”) when you are so stinking drunk that you are puking up your guts in the restroom of some stupid bar where you suddenly realize that your boss already ate and left to go back to work, and you just want to die, die, die, but you don’t.
The point is that we know enough about roentgenium not to make coins of it, even though it is in the “coinage metal” group of elements. Oddly enough, there are not many people who know to buy gold and silver, which are also in the coinage metal group, when it seems obvious from the name “coinage group”!
I mean, how easy does this have to get before you say, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”?
The Mogambo Gurufor The Daily Reckoning
Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning , and other fine publications. For podcasts featuring the Mogambo, click here.
Dear Almighty Mogambo (DAM),
I’ve taken the time to write this note to you, after reading all your articles on the Federal Reserve. I feel that we as a nation have reached Final Alert Retreating Time (FART). I don’t think this will blow over any time soon. The stench of the Federal Reserve creating so much money for so long, will linger in the air for Quite Some Time (QST). So buy some Gold And Silver (GAS) as soon as you can, and you too will soon say. “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”
Tooting my compressor driven train horn 47 times always works for me. Chuck-E-Cheeze tokens are going up also on flea-bay. Get sum!
who? our govrnment.
why ? they spend more han they have as income to the government.
do theuy whorie?
hell no thy invest in other countries.
ther pay should be cut b at least 50%.
by the way hoh much tax do theypap?if any?
The People’s Bank of China (PBOC), the central bank, announced today that it will issue more gold and silver commemorative coins featuring the giant pandas to meet soaring demands for precious metals!
you guys are so funny!I’m going to check out your site. Tooting your horn at the Banker’s home is soo funny.
I am so tired of you folks trying to convince me of something I seen coming in 2001 when I was telling every one to buy all the silver and gold they can put there hands on——you treat the public like they are stupid—HOW ABOUT SOME REAL AND PRACTICAL ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO——PLEASE ….STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE ME STOP…STOP…STOP I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER VIDEO….TELLING ME WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN
There’s an easy recipe you can use to root out the strongest stocks on the market right now.
America’s Strategic Energy Weapon, Part II
The quack policy that was good for stock owners in North America turned out even better for those in Japan.
From under which fetid igneous formation did these IRS slugs slither?
How the “Maker Movement” Will Launch the Best of Times in a Tale of Two Americas
Why following market skeptics can protect you in the long run.
From “Bits” to “Atoms”… Digital Innovation Finally Comes to the World of Real Stuff