Post-Turkey Day Boost

The Daily Reckoning

Weekend Edition

November 25-26, 2000

Waterloo, New Hampshire

By Addison Wiggin

MARKET REVIEW: Post-Turkey-Day Boost… Mr. Market
Determined Not To Let Politics Ruin The Holiday, but…

Most years trading is slow on the Friday after Thanksgiving
– but as you know…this year IS different. Mr. Market used
a half-day session on Friday to recoup a smidgeon of early-
week losses. Still disappointing earnings, political
uncertainty, and renewed inflation fears that have dampened
investor confidence throughout November carried the numbers
for the week…

The shortened “holiday session” ended at 1 p.m. Friday, with
the Dow up 70 at 10,470. But the blue chip big board ended
the week down 159. The Nasdaq also climbed Friday, up 149 to
close at 2,904, but lost over 122 for the week.

The S&P 500 ended 19 points higher at 1,341, closing the
week – down 25. The Dow has lost 9.5% for the year; the S&P
and Nasdaq are down an even 10% and 32.3%, respectively.

Markets Around The World…Japan’s Nikkei inched up 0.1%;
Germany’s DAX gained 1.2%… the London `footsie’ rose 0.6%,
and France’s CAC-40 ended Friday trading 1.5% higher than it

The Russell 2000 rose 43 this week to end at 471 while the
Wilshire 5000 dropped 549, ending Wednesday trading at

PRICES FOR THE WEEK: Dollar’s wicked strong… Natural Gas
still enjoying the heating season build-up…

Gold: $266 down $1

Crude Oil: $35.40 up $.36

Natural Gas: $6.57 up $.47(still rising!)

Platinum: 583 down $2

Palladium: $790 up $7

CRB Index: 229 up two

Dollar Index: 118

Esperanto zeuro: .84 same ol’, same ol’

British Pound: 1.40 down $.02

And 111 Japanese Yen to the crisp $US… down 3 yen.

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM: Notice to American’s from The Queen of
England… Thanksgiving, 2000


“To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA
and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new
prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85%
of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America
without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire
will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the
following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford
English Dictionary. Then look up ‘aluminium’. Check
the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just
how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to
acceptable levels. Look up ‘vocabulary’. Using the
same twenty seven words interspersed with filler
noises such as ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an
unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up ‘interspersed’.

2. There is no such thing as ‘US English’. We will
let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and
Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast
English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem,
‘God Save The Queen’, but only after fully carrying
out task 1. We would not want you to get confused
and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American ‘football’.
There is only one kind of football. What you refer to
as American ‘football’ is not a very good game. The
2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
outside your borders may have noticed that no one
else plays ‘American’ football. You will no longer be
allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played
with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you
brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American ‘football’, but does
not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds
or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We
are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
side by 2005.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France,
using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde.
The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is
a world outside your borders should count
yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the
bad guys. ‘Merde’ is French for ‘sh*t’.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November
8th will be a new national holiday, but only in
England. It will be called ‘Indecisive Day’.

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are
crap and it is for your own good. When we show
you German cars, you will understand what
we mean.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving
us crazy.”

We’ve commissioned a response to the queen mum, but so far
it’s too vulgar to print in The Daily Reckoning. I’ll let
you know when we’ve drafted a more civilized response.

Have a great weekend,

Addison Wiggin,
The Daily Reckoning

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CONTRARIAN GLOSSARY: Bed & Breakfast Stage

BED & BREAKFAST STAGE — This is a new phase in the
life cycle of humans…wedged in between the career phase and
traditional retirement. It usually kicks in when children
have left home, careers have run their courses and a man’s
balance sheet begins to look better than he does.

The Daily Reckoning