02/17/10 Stockholm, Sweden – The Onion has just released the defining story of the 21st century… money is in fact nothing more than worthless scraps of paper. The realization came about at a recent Bernanke testimony before Congress.
According to the Onion:
“What began as a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday ended with Bernanke passionately disavowing the entire concept of currency, and negating in an instant the very foundation of the world’s largest economy.
“‘Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we…if we…’ said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter disbelief. ‘You know what? It doesn’t matter. None of this—this so-called ‘money’—really matters at all.’
“‘It’s just an illusion,’ a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. ‘Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless.’”
Clearly, then panic ensued. Read all the details about the response of Congress, Obama, and the American people in the Onion’s coverage of how the US economy grinds to halt as the nation realizes that money is just a mutually shared illusion.
Rocky Vega
Rocky Vega is publisher of The Daily Reckoning. Previously, he was founding publisher of UrbanTurf and RFID Update, which he operated from Brazil, Chile, and Puerto Rico, and associate publisher of FierceFinance. He specialized in direct marketing at MBI, facilitated MIT Sloan School of Management programs, and has been featured on CBS. Vega graduated with honors from Harvard University, where he was on the board of Let’s Go Publications and directed business programs involving McKinsey, Goldman Sachs, and Harvard Business School faculty. He is also enrolled at the Stockholm School of Economics.
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I am not so sure about the credibility of the reporting made by “the Onion.” Their previous stories are quite whimsical and fun to read, however I would be rather mindful to consider that not everything you read on the internet should be made at face value. Careful who you use as your sources Rocky.
1 I hope Wendell is being facetious and 2. I am very disappointed this is on The Onion and not the FT !!
Confederate $$. Back to barter.
Dear Rocky,
I am sorry you posted this. I read it as real news until I went to the Onion site, and realized it was simply farcical.
Please stick to reality where you are best at.
Funny and very true. The whole show is a house of cards held together with wishful thinking, hypocrisy and pipe dreams.
Apologize for the confusion here. In the future I’ll more clearly indicate when articles, like the above, are exclusively for entertainment value.
The “ONION” is a satiracle online magazine and therefore the article is not true. It’s ashame the author does not admit the error and it’s a shame the DR doesn’t pull it.
Satire or not it is true. About the only actual thing paper is good for is burning, and wiping…, etc.