The drunker I get, the more it seems to me that you slave away at your stupid job every day of your stupid life, hating every moment of it, reviling all the idiotic people you deal with every hellish day, but you bravely and heroically put up with the aggravation, tedium and ennui because you desperately need the money.
And then your idiot boss comes walking up, out of nowhere, and wants to get in your face, complaining about all of your mistakes, and erroneous reports, and missing deadlines, and leaving work early, and how you bring your putter and a golf ball to work so that you can practice putting on company time, which you loudly deny by shouting, “That’s a lie! That’s a big stinking lie! If I was practicing, I would be better than I am! And if I was better at putting, I’d play so much more golf that you probably wouldn’t see me for freaking days at a time! But here I am, working at my stupid job, proving that I am not practicing putting on company time!”
And so you, tragically, put up with this, too, because you still need the money, a circumstance alluded to in an earlier paragraph where I also needed money, a literary device to show you that there may be many variables in the universe, but needing money is actually more of a constant.
You find it curious that no matter how much you work, you always have less and less money at the end of the month. It’s outrageous! And you want to know where the money went! “Hey”, you shout. “Somebody is stealing my money!”
More probably, it is the wife and kids wasting my money on frivolities like, for example, going to a movie, when they have a perfectly good TV at home where they can watch movies for free, instead of costing me money.
Or they are eating in a restaurant, instead of coming home to eat food that is, admittedly, past its expiration date, but the loss of crispness, taste and nutrition are more than offset by the savings that add up when paying the much lower cost of this food, some of which is actually free if you dig it out of the dumpster out back.
I personally don’t eat it, of course, but it ought to be good enough for teenagers, and if they don’t like it, then they can get a job and buy their own food!
Justifiably incensed and angry about all of this financial foolishness, I am on my way out the door to yell at the wife and kids for being such wanton wastrels, foolishly buying whatever it is that they are buying that is wasting all my money, when I happened to see that the real reason my money is disappearing is revealed in an editorial in The Washington Times: “We Can’t Afford This Government.”
This was no doubt prompted by the announcement by Americans for Tax Reform that “the average American worked 231 days just to support government, which consumes 63.41 percent of national income.” Yow! The government consumes two-thirds of income! We’re freaking doomed!
Even more horrifically, the cost of government is getting monstrously, exponentially, catastrophically higher, as, “Just two years ago, Cost of Government Day fell an astonishing 34 days earlier,” which is a tax increase of 17.3% in two years! And now the Obama administration wants to raise taxes even more! We’re freaking doomed!
A lot of this is due to, as USA Today reported Aug. 10 and The Washington Times reminds us, that “federal pay and benefits per employee now average more than twice that of private workers: $123,049 compared to $61,051.”
An interesting sidebar is that “Federal salaries outpaced inflation in the past decade by 33 percent.”
Now, as angry as you get about the income disparity between the gilded public servants and their impoverished masters, it is worse than that because I notice that this gain of 33% by federal workers is only the part that was more than inflation, which was, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 27%, meaning that federal salaries went up 60% in 10 years! Un-Freaking-Believable (UFB)! It’s surprising they only make double what we private-sector people make!
Imagine how fabulously well these public employees would have done if they had invested their money according to the dictates of the Fab-U-Tastic Mogambo Portfolio Theory (FUTMPT) and invested it all in gold, silver and oil! They would all be multi-millionaires!
This only proves that buying gold, silver and oil, as per the immortal FUTMPT, is not only immensely profitable, but it’s easy, too! As in “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”
The Mogambo Gurufor The Daily Reckoning
Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning , and other fine publications. For podcasts featuring the Mogambo, click here.
True: Federal employees make very good pay and benefits these days.
False: they take up a substantial part of the Federal budget (similar situation with state expenses).
80% of the Federal budget goes to Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Interest on the Debt and Defense, and most of the rest goes to famr programs, vet benefits, college loan defaults and unemployment insurance. (90% of state budgets are similarly concentrated: on education, Human Services (the disabled), Medicaid (health care for the poor), and public pension funds (mostly for teachers).
Governments do NOT spend much money on government salaries, benefits, Israel, illegal immigrants, etc.
What the government does spend is received by:
1) Tea Party hypocrites who get all that Social Security and Medicare money
2) The old
3) The disabled
4) Kids for their education
5) People who loaned us money
6) The rich, who own all the defense contractor company stock
I like the Mogambo, but truth would be even more entertaining to read about than misconceptions.
I’m guessing Scott Benson works for the government!!
“It’s surprising (Federal Employees) only make double what we private-sector people make!”
We Feds could make much more than double our private sector counterparts when you consider what you people are willing to pay for the service we provide – that is not going to jail for tax evasion. When you factor in what we could charge you to stay out of prison, we are among the most underpaid, generous people in the USA, hence the term public SERVANT.
Talk about public employees’ compensation is just a silly distraction from the fact that the top 1% of Americans own roughly half of all wealth in that country.
I might be one of them public servants. I drive a bus. Them buses are mostly paid for by taxes. I am not yet at top pay, and I am making 16.25 an hour. I will never make even close to 60,000 a year. I am also driving a school bus to help make ends meet. These are real facts.
Scott also seems to be full of hot air, just like our fearless leader.
The author of this article is an idiot profoundly ignorant of economics. two-thirds!? Idiots.
Funny, because I see both sides. I make 6 figures as a local municipal employee, but the reason I have this salary is no one else would take their job (Civil Engineer). I even turned it down 3 times before they got it into the salary range where I was willing to leave my previous job. I definitely make more than I did in the private sector, but I now deal with mental midgets in the public (MMITP), morons running the government (MRTG), and lazy whiney co-workers that take 15 minute breaks every 15 minutes while I do their job and mine. Do I feel guilty. No. I put up with garbage I never dealt with in the private sector and look forward to the day I can retire at age 40 on my silver and oil investments. Wheeeee!!! This investing thing is easy.
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