Federal Corruption Lacks Proper Punctuation

The first thing that I noticed was that my head was exploding, as every alarm bell in the fashionable-yet-filthy Mogambo Big-Time Bunker (MBTB) was ringing (ring ring ring) making a hell of a racket and seemingly scrambling my brain with pain, which I quickly concluded was because I had a doozy of a hangover, judging by the half-empty tequila bottles and fully-empty buckets of fried chicken all over the place.

Hurriedly turning them all off, in the blessed, blessed silence I see that the reason was simplicity itself: last week the loathsome Federal Reserve increased Total Fed Credit by a whopping $164 billion!!!

Note the three exclamation points, which was a choice of punctuation that was a compromise between my more pessimistic editing-self, “This is madness!! We’re all freaking doomed!!” Which advocated four exclamation points, versus my more optimistic editing-self, “This is madness! Everybody is doomed except those who own gold, silver and oil!” Which advocated merely two exclamation points.

My problem was to weigh the bias of each. The source of my pessimism is that in the last zillion years or so, Every Freaking Time (EFT) that a government acted so stupidly as to allow such a reckless expansion of the money supply, especially to finance out-of-control government deficit-spending and insane levels of private debt, everything was soon destroyed, and it seems that most of the time the country in question completely disappeared, too.

My optimism, on the other hand, is because 1.) The historical record is also clear that people who owned gold when their government acted so bizarrely are the only ones to survive, a fact made especially and deliciously pertinent to me because I actually own some gold, silver and oil, and 2.) Everyone else deserves the ruination they get because they are the morons who elected, and who kept electing, the achingly incompetent and suicidally dangerous morons to Congress who allowed (and abetted!) the Federal Reserve to create all that excess money and credit, all those years, that financed all the damned speculative bubbles in stocks, bonds, housing and size of government that are now popping (or are in danger of doing so) and which are making the government act even MORE stupidly and the Federal Reserve to act even more insanely, too! INSAAAAAANE!

Naturally, I am working myself into a howling rage, inching towards some kind of open rebellion where I seize control of the USA by rallying those who respond to my campaign promise of “Free lunch for everybody! And a free breakfast and a light supper, too!” by gathering them all up, declaring them to be “mentally incompetent” to believe in such a stupidity as a free lunch, and sending them to those secret internment camps that the government has been building.

Or at least taking away their right to vote so that they can no longer infect the future with their astonishing electoral imbecilities, but can still keep working in some menial job for the glorification of the new Glorious Emperor Mogambo (GEM).

Doug Noland, in his PrudentBear.com column, has never acknowledged, either publicly or privately, the Glorious Emperor Mogambo (GEM) as the nation’s ruler and as such, deserving of omnipotent powers, but calmly notes that “Federal Reserve Credit inflated $164bn last week to an 8-wk high $2.041 TN.”

Ignoring the sheer horror of it, I instead note that he ends the sentence with a period instead of an exclamation point, which I take as his clever, deliciously subtle way of showing that this kind of lowly, disease-ridden Federal Reserve mental illness of creating excess money and credit has become so common that it no longer is surprising, and thus is correctly punctuated with a plain, everyday period.

He then goes on to say, “Fed Credit has dropped $205bn y-t-d, although it expanded $1.163 TN over the past 52 weeks.”

Okay, now this is where I draw the line! I note that he does not conclude with at least one lousy exclamation point so that people would know that the Fed more than doubling the amount of credit in the banking system in One Freaking Year (OFY) is something very important!

For this, in a fit of my usual childish pique, I take points away from his score at the Mogambo Writers Rating Service (MWRS), and I give them to me, inflating my score, because I used three of them when I wrote, “last week the loathsome Federal Reserve increased Total Fed Credit by a whopping $164 billion!!!”

This sudden addition to my total score means that I am now in the lead in the race for the prestigious Mogambo Economics Writing Award (MEWA) for 2009, which I have already won every year for the last 17 years.

To those who object to my fraudulently giving myself the ratings points at the noble MRS, let me just tell you that although I am incompetent, undeserving, and the whole Mogambo Writers Rating Service (MWRS) is a fraud and a scam, I decided to give myself a bonus anyway, and to get them, I took them from someone else! Hahaha!

Just like the fraud that the Fed and the Congress commit for their Goldman Sachs/Wall Street buddies every day! So there is nothing you can do about it! Hahaha!

Fortunately, the news media is overlooking this Mogambo Writers Rating Service (MWRS) scandal, and so I get back to the point, which is that $164 billion in new credit was created by the Federal Reserve last week, and to make matters worse, of that $164 billion in credit that appeared, literally, out of thin air, a full $163 billion of it was used by the Federal Reserve (a private bank owned by private parties and run by private citizens of various nations, all without any real oversight by anybody) to buy Treasury and agency debt for itself!

Now do you want to talk about fraud, or about how you should be buying gold, silver and oil to protect yourself against the predations of a corrupt government and their unholy henchmen, the corrupt banks who will bankrupt everybody under an onslaught of inflation in prices except those who own gold, silver and oil.

Fortunately, it’s just that easy of a choice! Whee!

The Daily Reckoning