02/18/09 Tampa Bay, Florida I ran across the essay “The Greatest Economic Stimulus Plan Ever! Part II” by Wayne Allen Root, which certainly gets your attention! He starts out saying that he’s looked, and “Obama’s solution for the current economic tsunami is more government spending in the form of bailouts, a massive trillion-dollar economic stimulus package, and ‘tax cuts’ offered to people who never paid taxes in the first place” which seems both starkly correct and a chance for me to use it as a springboard for a Mogambo Loud Damning Indictment (MLDI) of the Congress and Federal Reserve so that, hopefully, your first thought is, “Our outrage is so great that we should spontaneously arise into an unstoppable, unruly mob, go up there, drag those incompetent lowlife morons out into the street and beat the hell out of them all.”
Well, I like the way you think! But it also describes an economy where the total of local, state and federal taxes already consumes half of income, where the total of state, local and federal spending is literally half of all spending in America, and which is distributed to about half of all Americans in the form of welfare, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and general government contractual spending! In short, the government IS the economy! Hahaha!
So what is Mr. Root’s plan? Well, “for openers, giving American taxpayers a one-year Income Tax Vacation” where nobody pays any personal income tax – which is entirely do-able, although when I say it, people snicker and snort and say, “No way, you moron!” and, “You’re a lying piece of crap, you moron!” and, “Stop stealing French fries off of my damned plate, you weirdo moron!”
Mr. Root is obviously not subject to such rude verbal abuse, probably because his data reveals that “individuals in the United States of America pay a total of about $1.3 trillion in income taxes every year. So, as expensive as my idea may sound, it wouldn’t cost much more than Obama’s $1 trillion economic stimulus plan.”
Wow! You know, he’s right! He goes on to say that it’s also “a tiny fraction of the $7 trillion the federal government has given away in bailout monies to fat-cat corporations and bankers. And it’s far less than the $2 trillion or so that the Federal Reserve has printed up to try to put ‘liquidity’ into the banking system” which is not only a lot of money, but itself covers a lot of disgusting sins, lies, frauds, deceptions and foul corruptions, which I understand is beside the point but which burns me up so much that I keep bringing it up.
Using my time constructively, I am standing here, still seething about the corruption of the Congress and the Federal Reserve and plotting my revenge as I wait for him to take his argument to the next step and say that since we have a fiat currency, a corrupt Congress and a complicit Federal Reserve, then let’s really get this thing in gear!
I mean, it would be child’s play for Congress to order the Federal Reserve – which controls our banks – to put electronic money into each of our bank accounts! It’s literally as easy at that!
Then, you wouldn’t have to get up in the morning and trudge off to work and do your stupid job, all day listening to your stupid boss and stupid clients going, “Do this, do that, give me my money back, pull up your zipper”, yammer yammer yammer, “You’re a moron, Mogambo”, yammer yammer yammer, “Amend that to your being a moron AND a failure, Mogambo”, yammer yammer yammer.
Now, with Mr. Root’s plan, the government can just give everybody money instead of making anyone earn it! There is, suddenly, money everywhere, which will hopefully be used by people to buy lots and lots of stocks, bonds and houses, driving up the prices of stocks, bonds and houses, thus producing tax revenue for the government to spend! Hahaha!
There is an interesting lesson in there for people who are stupid enough to allow a government to control the creation of money and credit which they will predictably over-issue, causing ruinous inflation in prices, and that lesson is “buy gold or die!” But for Junior Mogambo Rangers (JMRs) who have their official decoder rings, it is much, much more, as they have no doubt already deciphered the paragraph to reveal the coded message, “Buy gold, silver and oil right now ahead of the roaring inflation in prices that will come as a result of the inflations in the money supplies, and you will rule like kings over those who do not act as prudently as you, which will be most everybody you know because they are all idiots, and upon whom you will be able to inflict pain or pleasure at your sole discretion, but mostly pain, to punish them for being so stupid that they elected the morons who did this to us! Hahahaha!”
Either way, you get the message!
The Mogambo Guru
Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning , and other fine publications. For podcasts featuring the Mogambo, click here.
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Dear Mogambo,
As usual, thanks for the angry work.
One more thing to get angry about: the Stimulus Plan will = 10 trillion this time next year.
Carry on.