The Mogambo Golden-Real Estate Project

Japan has taken an interesting approach to preventing people from accumulating so much debt that they default; The Wall Street Journal reports that Japan has a new law “restricting total loans from all lenders to one-third of a borrower’s income.” Hmmm! Criminal penalties for accumulating too much debt? Wow!

In effect, the Japanese are not allowing creditors to sustain a loss by not allowing debtors to amass so much debt that they default so that the government gets less tax revenue, the deadbeat’s credit is ruined, he loses everything, his girlfriend leaves him, he can’t borrow any more money, and he lays around the house all day watching TV and whining about how life is unfair until his own parents throw him out of their house, screaming, “Get a job and get a life, you Lazy Mogambo Moron (LMM)!”

And the ripple effects of default are worse, mostly about how the government gets less tax revenue when the creditor nets this loss against (all things being equal) lower gains at tax-time, which does not even start to get into that whole inflation thing, where the money that was borrowed had the effect of increasing the money supply when it was borrowed, and now the default has the opposite effect, namely, shrinking the money supply when the money disappears when the debt disappears. Yikes! A falling money supply!

So there are lots and lots of reasons why nobody wants debtors to get into financial trouble because of excessive debt, and I have heard them all when creditors turn me down.

And they have more reasons besides those, like that time the bank loan officer said, “No! And get out of my bank, you freaking lunatic!” when he thought I wanted to borrow enough money to buy up all the houses around me for a quarter of a mile in any direction.

The reason that I wanted to buy everybody’s house is so that I would create a “free-fire” zone around the Fabulous Fearful Mogambo Bunker (FFMB), taking a stupid residential area full of stupid people who are not smart enough to buy gold, silver and oil when their government is deficit-spending so much money, which is not to mention the despicable Federal Reserve creating the money that the government borrows, and turning this hotspot of dimwitted, residential lowlife troglodytes into a flat, deserted wasteland, completely barren and free of trees, shrubs, or cover of any kind, depriving my enemies, both real and imagined, of concealment of, again, any kind if they dared approach the aforesaid FFMB.

What the stupid loan officer misunderstood is that I don’t want to borrow the money to buy the houses, but to borrow the money to buy gold, which will rise so much in value when compared to the houses, and to the original loan used to buy the gold, that I can use the gold at its much higher price to both buy the houses and pay off the debt used to buy the gold in the first place, with more gold left over! Whew! What a plan! What an amazing plan! What an Amazing Mogambo Plan (AMP)!

I devised this plan modeled on the heights of the Weimar Hyperinflation in Germany, where one ounce of gold – one ounce! – was supposedly enough to buy up 4 square blocks of prime, downtown-Berlin commercial property!

So, with that kind of massive buying power of gold, I was talking about how much gold am I going to need, at the end of the coming American Hyperinflation, to buy all the houses around me for miles in any direction so that I could tear them down so as to provide any intruder with enough unobstructed firepower to turn them into sudden red clouds of blood and tiny bits of cellular material exploding in all directions?

I was telling him that I won’t need much gold, I figured, because of the treachery of the Federal Reserve creating too, too much money for too, too long so that they federal government could deficit-spend too, too much money, when he suddenly jumps to his feet and acts all upset, shouting, “I’ve heard enough! This is insane! Get out! Get out of my bank, you Raving Mogambo Lunatic (RML)!”

On my way home, I angrily concluded that this shows why banks are in trouble; they won’t loan money to do the only reasonable thing to do, which is to buy gold, silver and oil when your stupid government is stupidly and massively deficit-spending trillions of dollars and your stupid Federal Reserve is stupidly creating trillions of dollars of new money.

As I helpfully told the loan officer on the way out of his office, “You are making a Big Freaking Mistake (BFM), you half-witted lowlife banker trash!”

In the meantime, I will continue to buy gold, silver and oil, and I will continue to urge others to do so, too, and if they don’t, then I know they are as stupid as bankers and neighbors, because the last 4,500 years of history shows that the obvious thing to do is to buy gold, silver and oil, and it’s so easy and obvious that even the laziest, most worthless, low-IQ bum in the whole world, which is either me or someone very much like me, would have to agree, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”

The Mogambo Guru
for The Daily Reckoning