The Gold-Fear Dynamic

I am a guy who thinks he is a hero for being “out there”, on the cutting edge, heroically standing at major intersections, yelling my head off to educate drivers who get caught at the stop light, by looking them right in the eye and telling them that “You are doomed, you moron! Doomed! Doomed by the loathsome Federal Reserve creating So Unbelievably Much (SUM) excess money, which not only devalues your pitiful little stash of money, but total outstanding debt increases, including the $1.5 trillion increase in the national debt in the last 12 months, thanks to the moronic Congress deficit-spending to try to achieve some bizarre Utopia via complete government regulatory takeover of everything in exchange for giving them gobs and gobs of newly-creation money, courtesy of the Federal Reserve, saving them from well-deserved bankruptcy, all of which means terrifying increases in prices that will destroy us all! Destroy us all, you moron!”

If they meet my gaze or pretend that I am not there, then I continue advising them, “Buy gold, silver and oil, Earthling moron, as they are your only time-tested protection against the inflationary collapse and misery that So Incredibly Much New Money (SIMNM) and So Incredibly Much New Government Spending (SIMNGS) inevitably produces, and not only here, but everywhere in the Whole Freaking Universe And Beyond (WFUAB), so you can see that I know what I am talking about!”

Well, few are impressed, but perhaps they would be impressed by all the examples of 400 million years of trans-galactic economic history and, of course, the 4,500 years of economic history on Earth, both of which concern gold, which may be what prompted Agora Financial’s 5-Minute Forecast to reveal the Universal Template (UT), in that in 2009, fear drove people “primarily into the dollar”, followed by 2010 being the year that “fear drives people into both dollars and gold”, which does seem to be what is happening.

The obvious question is, “What happened next and how can I make a profit on it, and maybe a huge profit so that I can get out of this stinking little town?”

Their answer is that, in 2011, “Fear drives people primarily into gold”, which is pretty much what I have been saying for years, except that I usually say, “Except for the really stupid people”, which is kind of snotty and mean, but in a kindly, educational way.

Agora’s 5, on the other hand, humorously says, “Of this outcome, we’re nearly certain. The timing, not so much.” Hahaha! Perfect timing!

And of what, you may ask, are all these people so fearful? Well, I can’t speak for everyone else, but, as for me, it is inflation in prices that scares me, which was also featured, in another edition of Agora Financial’s 5-Minute Forecast, in a quote of their own Eric Fry, who relates, without any warning such as sending up a flare or at least saying, “This is going to scare the hell out of you”, the bone-chilling fact that “The CRB commodity index is up more than 8% from its February lows.”

I had secretly intended to jump up and commandeer the conversation so as to get some attention, especially from the adorable Sandra, the cute new intern who could have stolen my heart, but didn’t, because I heard that she told Gloria, who told her boyfriend Billy, who told Wanda, with whom he was cheating on Gloria, who told me, that she thinks I am “icky” and “old”, but who did not say, I am happy to say, “creepy”, which is at least encouraging!

But my plans of interruption were, umm, interrupted by the horror of commodity prices increasing 8% in 3 months making me instantly choke and gag, disrupting my Mogambo Plan (MP) to gain attention, and so Mr. Fry was able to go on to impress everyone, including the adorable Sandra, by saying that “We are bullish on inflation, bullish on gold, bullish on Goldman put options and, most of all, bullish on volatility”, which mirrors my sentiments exactly, using the exact words that I would have used, too!

It’s almost like we were twins separated at birth or something, although he did not say, as I say, that “We’re freaking doomed!”, although he might have thought it, which, again, would be just exactly like me, as I think it all the time!

The Mogambo Guru
for The Daily Reckoning