Time for Taxpayers to Bailout the North Pole

Santa Claus needs capital to shore up his balance sheet this holiday season. It would be awkward for him to ask for $26 billion, that’s bordering on the ridiculous. $25 billion? That’s completely reasonable for a little yuletide stimulus.

Let’s face it… jolly old Saint Nick can barely squeeze down a chimney these days. He’s clearly too big to fail.