The "Hollywood Star" Method of Economic Prosperity

I took one last shot of bourbon as an essential anesthetic before I dared venture to that foul den of evil incarnate known as the Federal Reserve, and I am glad I did! I realize that I should be numb to these sick excesses of the Federal Reserve, but I am not sure that I will ever become numb to, for example, last week’s stunning $75 billion increase in Total Fed Credit, which is, literally, the fabled “money from thin air” of story and song.

This is the stuff that gets multiplied by the banks, which causes big increases in the money supply because that credit turns into real money when somebody borrows money from a bank, which goes into the bidding up of prices for things (because there is not really anything else you can do with borrowed money!)

And what did the Fed do with the money? Well, last week, it used $36 billion to buy a chunk of US government securities for itself! And it probably loaned foreign banks some cash, because they bought up a whopping $24 billion of US debt last week, too! All in One Freaking Week (OFW).

And it is this bidding up of prices, a terrifying inflation in the prices of consumer goods, which is the nightmarish horror that always brings down whole countries, which is why the “problem” of inflation was solved by the Founding Fathers and written into the Constitution, which still requires that money be gold and silver so that the money supply could not vastly expand, thus preventing inflation in prices.

Only this can prevent the stinking, filthy government from – with or without the help of a bunch of scumbags known as the Federal Reserve – increasing the money supply and creating the dreaded inflation as a result.

Of course, we are here because all the damnable Supreme Courts since 1933 have agreed that the government can ignore this part of the Constitution, turning back case after case.

And it seems to me that the study of history, as I have gleaned from TV documentaries and movies, is just the same, sad, stupid, selfish story of long-term governmental fiscal and monetary malfeasances that evolve the economy into a cesspool of corruptions and idiocies (like “Invest for the long term!”), and most major problems seem to end only when handsome Hollywood movie stars heroically fight wars and kill a bunch of foreigners.

Not being a Hollywood movie star (which is another Sad Mogambo Story (SMS) where a complete lack of talent and only halfhearted effort cruelly conspire against me), I have also keenly noticed that while the Hollywood stars rarely get killed, a lot of us ordinary folk DO get killed, sometimes only dying after a long period of gruesome agony so that the Hollywood star can show compassion as he walks past us on his way to do something heroic, get a medal and have sex with the only beautiful girl in a hundred miles.

So, for these and many, many other reasons, inflation in the money supply leading to an inflation in consumer prices is a Particular Mogambo Phobia (PMP) of mine.

That “fear response” to the terrors of inflation in prices explains why I pay such close attention to Total Fed Credit, which in turn explains why I drink so heavily and have so many “accidents” with my medications, which in turn explains why I am surly and incoherent most of the time, but never insensate enough that I can stop myself from at least muttering under my breath, “We’re freaking doomed!”

Fortunately, I am never so anesthetized that I don’t stop yelling at people to buy gold, silver and oil, because these are three things whose prices are destined for a Major Price Increase (MPI) thanks to Federal Reserve and Congressional stupidity, which will, oddly enough, create a job opening when I take my sudden riches in hand and quit my stupid, dead-end job, only to skip town under suspicious circumstances and rumored to be having one hell of a good time, someplace a long, long way from here.

Contemplate upon that delightful future as an option, which comes free, free, free with gold, silver and oil.

Whee! This investing stuff is easy!