01/27/10 Tampa Bay, Florida – Last week’s winner of the Mogambo Most Stupid Quote Of The Week (MMSQOTW) goes to that arch-idiot, Barack Obama – after the contest judge (me) was found (my wife tracked me down) in a local tavern (low-rent girlie bar), and was hurriedly sobered up (to no avail) with some hot coffee (too weak) and a lot of screaming from my wife (loud), mostly centered about what a lowlife bastard I am (with examples).
After being driven home with her “loud snotty harangue” as musical accompaniment, I ran across this startling AP news item entry, which was so shocking that it sobered me up pretty quick!
The most recent staggering stupidity (our contest winner!) is from the White House, where “President Barack Obama said Thursday he wants to tax banks to recoup the public bailout of foundering firms at the height of the financial crisis.”! Hahaha!
I am sure that you, being the astute Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR) that you are, are laughing merrily with along with me – Hahahahahaha! – because this is so, so, so Theater-of-the-Absurd funny on so many, many, many levels, once you get beyond the horrifying, un-funny realization that it is abysmally, shockingly, alarmingly stupid on just the one level: it is a known fact that a tax on a business is just another expense to the business, like labor and raw materials, that is added to the prices that they must charge their customers in order to make a profit, which makes prices go up as the businesses raise prices to maintain their profit margins by recouping the tax they had to pay by, in case you haven’t been paying attention, raising prices, which is inflation, which is the one thing a country does NOT want, making a tax on business the most stupid thing you can do.
In this case, the banks will charge higher fees for their “banking” services and charge higher interest rates to their customers, neither of which is a good thing for the people who have to pay the higher prices! Hahahaha!
And now that idiot Obama wants to raise banking prices and interest rates (which affects all other prices, as interest rates are also an expense that must be recouped through the prices they charge) so that the government can have more money to spend on itself and its greedy, grasping little friends?
And so how much money are we talking about? Agora Financial’s 5-Minute Forecast finds that “Details are still shady, but we hear the measure is supposed to raise $90 billion over the next 10 years.”
Of course, my Initial Mogambo Reaction (IMR) is to laugh out loud at $9 billion a year, as it means a lot of hassle for a lot of people so that the government will get another measly $9 billion a year to spend, which, in the case of us profligate United Dumbheads of America, means that the idiotic Congress we elect will authorize the Treasury to borrow another $9 billion, plus postage and handling, so that the money supply will expand just a little, teeny bit more in a laughable attempt to keep interest rates low, low, low, even though the idiotic government is borrowing huge, huge, huge freaking huge amounts of money to spend in some bizarre attempt to repeal the Laws of Economic Nature, the most basic of which is that (and you may want to write this down, especially if you are a Democrat or – dare I hope? – Obama himself) there is no such thing as a free lunch.
In fact, when I become emperor and have awesome powers and complete lack of liability, anybody who even suggests that there is such a thing as a “free lunch” will have the phrase “There is no such thing as a free lunch” tattooed on their foreheads, so that the next time they say something stupid like, “let’s expand low-income housing” or, “let’s give free healthcare to illegal immigrants and everybody else who shows up asking for it,” the listener can say, “How in the hell can we do that, when there is no such thing as a free lunch, as you have already had tattooed on your forehead, you idiot?”
Now that I am completely sobered up, let me tell you, without slurring my words or accidentally peeing in my pants, that there is no painless “solution” to the problems caused by excessive creation of money and credit to the point of unbelievable national and personal bankruptcies, AND there never has been one, AND there never will be one, AND that is why it is so important that you not create money and credit in the first place.
So if you are not personally bankrupt yet, then use all your money to buy as much gold, silver and oil that you can get your greedy, grubby mitts on, because such insane inflation in the money supply is going to result in terrifying, horrifying inflation in prices so that the recent travails of Zimbabwe (which tried this Same Stupid Stunt (SSS)), whose currency went to literally zero value after annual inflation in prices soared past the trillion percent mark, will seem starkly familiar while making every day of the rest of your life into a living hell, while the prices of gold, silver and oil will soar right along with them, meaning that people who buy them do not get clobbered!
And that is why I always say, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”
And look! I just said it again! Hahaha!
The Mogambo Guru
Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning , and other fine publications. For podcasts featuring the Mogambo, click here.
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He’s baaack! Now, I can stop chewing my finger nails to a bloddy pulp!
Welcome back Mogambu Guru!
Welcome home.
Yays! He’s back!
Now THAT is customer service!!
We demand the return of the MoGu in the comments of the previous article then lo and behold….The MoGu rises from the ashes like a phoenix (RFTALAP)and helps keep us sane and entertained!!
I wondered if MOGU was ever coming back. My prayers have been answered. Now I am in a happy place.
What a GIFT you are to all of us…..welcome back………you have been missed !!!
Wow, welcome back! Always love your writing.
I now have a reason to go on!!!
Long Live the MG!!!!!!!
He just gets back and the first thing he thinks about is lunch.
Glad you are back Mogambo!
Am I the only one who read it as (SSS) Same Stupid Schitt?
The Government will never cease to amaze.
Seeing you back Mogambo, brings me the same amount of joy as the first day my child was born. Except instead of incoherent babbling, you’re actually saying things I’m interested in (albeit a bit slurred, but hey, who’s perfect?)!
Are you back for good? If so, 20 year old Scotch and frozen burritos are on me!
Welcome the f@*k back Mogambo (WTFBM)
Junior Mogambo Rangers rejoice!!! Notice that there are three exclamation points signifying the importance of the Mogambo Gurus return.
Thanks for restoring the Mogambo and his articles for us.
Great Caesar’s ghost! He’s back. Just when all hope seemed lost (JWAHSL)!
At last, some sanity on the internets again.
Welcome back, Oh Wise and Great Mogambo (OWAGM)!!!!!
WTF!Where did you Go? Have you been reinforcing your bunker? Welcome back all the same.
Thanks and glad you’re back MG!!!
Finally! He’s back!!!
You have been missed, Great Mogambo!!!!!!
Bonner can write about the stupidity of government, and has even recently tried a few attempts at humor. He is good, but he lacks the style of the Mogambo (TSOTM). This is a good day!
HOORAY FOR THE MG!!! Thank you Agora, for coming to your senses.
Life is beautiful and has meaning again now that you are back. Welcome back Mogambo
Welcome back, delighted to have your wisdom lighten up my little bunker (MLB)
I check everyday for you — Welcome Home!! Your faithful Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR)
Welcome back mogambo we miss your wisdom I follow you since 2003 Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”
Welcome back MG. Your wit and wisdom were sorely missed.
What a glorious day this is,
The Mogambo Guru, the ONLY Economist who can be trusted has returned.
All Hail The Mighty Mighty Mogambo!!!!!!!!!!
You were sorely missed for the past few weeks. You must have lost your gold and silver so you spent the past few weeks looking for it by digging holes in your yard while drinking out of broken booze bottles while getting yelled at by your wife while you were stuttering something incoherent about the rat bastard federal reserve system the whole time. We understand, welcome back.
Thank Gawd-DUH the voice of reason (as oppsed to the voice of the dawg next door) has returned!
Ditto, Ditto, Ditto- Welcome Back Mogambo- you have been sorely missed!!!!
i missed you so much
Whee, he’s back (we may have to thank his wife for tracking him down)!!!! That awards FOUR exclamation points… No, make it FIVE!!!!!
I’m So Freakin Happy (SFH) your back!!!!!
That was one helluva long stay in detox dude. Hope your got your DT’s hammered out.
Glad you’re back.
BOY, DID I MISS YOU!!!!
Hallelujah,
O Joy, O Joy, You’re finally BACK!!!
We’re saved.
My grandfather would always tell me stuff like their is no such thing as a free lunch and for the last 30 years I looked around me and thought he must be wrong because at the schools not only did the get a free lunch but also a free breakfast!!!! But now the whole thing has blown up and we are at the end game!!! My grand father was right!!!
Whee!! The Mighty Mogambo Guru (MMG) has returned! Maybe now you can spout on about this nonsense George Soros and his minions spouting off about gold being the “ultimate” bubble. As it goes down I keep buying more and more. Your right this investing stuff is easy!
He’s BACK!!!
I almost gave up hope on Mogambo’s return.
Yippee, yer back! Now I can get drunk and kick some politician’s butt! Well, a very small politician…
Here is another economic law, “Money does not grow on trees!!!(MDNGOT). But as you know, now it does. The government prints money from paper which comes from trees and is worthless. Buy gold and silver. Thanks for coming back and airing the truth as no one else can. Welcome back from the abyss.
like everyone else I missed my daily laugh. Vega messes with a good thing at his peril. TDR is valued for it’s insight and humor…. not short meaningless blurbs. Welcome back Mogambo.
So glad you are back, Mighty Mogambo!
But Mogambo, there is such a thing as a free lunch. In an effort to make healthcare more affordable, Congress is proposing a special tax on medical equipment makers. Your argument about them raising prices in response would render this whole idea silly. Surely all those smart folks we send to Congress could not be mistaken about something so simple. Poor Magambo, you must be confused.
There is not a free lunch until you are a banker. Then you can create money from thin air thanks to the Federal Reserve’s ‘fractional reserve’ scam, and spend it buying some stupid blogger to write some stupid things like that.
Mogambo for prez !!!
Welcome Back!!!
TRIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS(TEP)
3 months searching for the Mogambo! 3 months of wading through so much financial stupidity, inflation, gold manipulation, and marxist Big Brother Government spending without the Mogambo coming out of his Ultimate Bunker of Financial Doom (UBFD) to enlighten and regale us with his wit wand wisdom! But now he has returned. And there was much rejoicing.
I tried to figure out the current M-3 on my own, and blew up my hard drive, causing my illegally raised chickens to scatter and the swat team to show up at my front door and threaten to confiscate my automatic weapons stash-AGAIN!!!!!!
Obama will save us if you give Him a chance but all you do is bash Him and criticize every little decision like this puny tax on the fat cat bankers who are robbing us little guys blind and crying wolf to the government so they get bailouts to stuff their fat wallets while we have to subsist on free samples at Costco and get our clothes from the morgue while you sit in the ivory tower of your bunker and brazenly bash (note the alliteration) the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize who single-handedly has given us peace hope prosperity and allows us to sleep well at night knowing that our children will live long and wonderful lives without the burden of thinking about healthcare, employment or morgage payments since the government will do all of the thinking for them and relieve them of such menial tasks so they can meditate on the really important things like being green and stopping ice from melting. Mogambo, you better write some more, or I will throw big turds in your direction.
Hamlet, which frigging dimension of the universe are you living in? This is a joke right?
Welcome back Mogambo. You were missed
It’s good to see the fat, lazy, arrogant, charismatic kook (FLACK), otherwise known as Mogambo Guru, doesn’t have enough gold to quit “working” yet. Can anyone really believe that making fun of our government is really work?
Titty bars flourish in his wake. That’s where all the gold goes. So in the future the hot chicks who like to party will own everything.
Awesome. Well, for like ten minutes. Then they’ll be broke, too.
When is lunch, again, Mo? You’re paying, right?
Free lunch. Let’s see. I give $25,000 to Pres O’s campaign. In return I get a $1,000,000 grant to do with what I please. And the $1MM is provided by helicopter Ben with no tax increase. It looks like I get a free lunch while everybody who suffers in the system gets screwed (but not me – I get a free lunch).
Great to see you back ! I had stopped going to this website and found out abt this only today from Chuck Butler’s column. I’m from India and you ought to live here and see the extreme inflation in consumer item prices to really “feel” the pain ! The financial media is kidding us and consider us as “morons” ! Thanks to you, we can see the “light” and atleast buy a little gold from our pathetic paychecks ! Take care and behave yourself ! hahaha !