Buying Gold on the Price Inflation Guarantee

At my age, I have pretty much figured out that people don’t like me because they fear me.

I don’t know why, exactly, but perhaps they fear me because I am a cynical, paranoid, gold-bug old man who thinks that the Federal Reserve has turned into an evil institution by creating So Freaking Much Money (SFMM), now so that it can commit the sin of monetizing new government debt by the truckload, increasing the money supply and guaranteeing a roaring inflation that hurts the poor, and hurts the almost-poor, and hurts the not-quite-poor, and (now that I think about it) it hurts everybody, which hurts me personally because they come whining to me to give them some of MY money!

The lesson is that everybody suffers from higher prices to one degree or another.

Or maybe people fear me because I know that The Only Thing To Do (TOTTD) when the money supply is being so seriously expanded is to buy silver and gold as a defense against the inflation that will result, and even though I have literally spent hours and hours with these people over the years, monopolizing every conversation to tell them to buy gold and silver, they don’t!

And then they turn around and get all upset with ME, like it’s my fault, when I politely inform them that I figure that not buying gold and silver, especially silver, despite the entire corpus of the last 4,500 years of economic history proving the wonders of doing so, and the idiocy of not doing so, over and over and over again, is, by sheer tonnage of evidence, completely stupid.

I mean, how stupid is it not to buy gold and silver when the Federal Reserve is creating so much money that it guarantees – guarantees! – inflation in prices.

The fact that most Earthlings do not buy them seems to indicate that most Earthlings are stupid creatures, and that maybe, just maybe, the whole planet should be “sterilized” by sending a couple of Zargmagarth battle-cruisers through hyperspace to deliver a couple jolts from their onboard Exterminator 3000 ray guns, sort of like how America goes swaggering around the world blowing up large pieces of the planet and killing people.

Relying solely on anecdotal information and stuff I just make up in my paranoid confusion, I figure that widespread gene malfunctions are causing this stupidity, and it also explains why terrified people do not recognize that (as is classically said in the movies) resistance is futile, both to Zargmagarth battle-cruisers and to the ruinous inflation in prices that is caused by the constant creation of too much money.

Normally, I would expect them to say, “Okay, strange visitor from another planet! You win! I’ll buy as much gold and silver as I can! Just don’t let the Zargmagarths or the Fed destroy us!”

It is, you may be happy to know, not too late to turn back the Zargmagarths, but it is, unfortunately, too late to prevent the Federal Reserve from destroying the planet with inflation in prices.

And with a dichotomy like that, the decision to buy gold and silver is so easy that you involuntarily giggle in delight, “Whee! This investing stuff is easy!”

The Mogambo Guru
for The Daily Reckoning