A Sharp Suit that Could Save Your Life
Have you ever been shot and said to yourself, “Wow, I really should have worn a bulletproof suit”?
Well, your prayers have been answered!
Because Garrison Bespoke, a Canadian tailor, has finally created that thing we’ve all been wishing for without knowing it.
Saying, “I have a bulletproof suit” is like saying, “I have a rhino-proof golf cart”…
Over the last year, and at the request of a real client, Garrison Bespoke has been working quietly with the same supplier that outfits the U.S. Army Special Forces in developing the suit.
The secret is nanotechnology. The suit is comprised of the same carbon nanotubes designed for U.S. troops’ uniforms in Iraq. But the patented suit material is a lot thinner and much more flexible.
When the nanotubes in the fabric are exposed to force, they harden, acting like a shield, which makes the suit impenetrable to certain types of bullets and even knives.
This is a great idea, and Mr. Bespoke deserves high praise for coming up with it!
Of course, before you run out and buy one, you should also keep in mind that when that standard 9-mm slug slams into your bulletproof suit moving at 1,200 feet per second (about 820 miles per hour), it may not punch through, but it will still be able to shatter bones and rupture organs.
Which means that instead of being a hole-riddled corpse, you’ll be a bruise-riddled corpse, which nine out of 10 dead people agree is much, much better (this is just an estimate).
This is a huge benefit if you want to follow through with your other dream of having a naked funeral without being forced to explain all those embarrassing open wounds…
Admittedly, the idea of a bulletproof suit is pretty cool.
Hell, it’s always cool to make something bulletproof.
But saying, “I have a bulletproof suit” is like saying, “I have a rhino-proof golf cart”…
Just because the rhino can’t get to you doesn’t mean he can’t kill you, and this is all assuming the rhino doesn’t just shoot you in the face. (No word yet on the new bulletproof “business ski mask.”)
But if this all sounds appealing, it will cost you only $20,000 to pick up one of these custom-made bad boys.
As for me, I think I’ll invest that money in not getting shot to begin with.
Here’s to the future,
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