01/05/09 - Steady Diet of Chinese Currency
"Well, egg rolls or not, pretty soon everybody is going to have more egg rolls, as the Chinese are engaging in massive stimulus spending, too, just like we and everyone else are…" 01/02/09 - Fixing the Unemployment Outlook
"Hell, at that rate, I'll personally hire 5 or 6 people right now, full-time, to get my yard, trees and shrubberies in shape, wash and wax the cars, and do all of that fixing, painting and replacing of broken, leaking or noisy crap around the house…" 01/01/09 - Silver Runs for Sanitation Commissioner
"The good news is not only that I don't own any public facilities that have garbage disposal or HVAC liabilities, but also that both of these nightmares are solvable by silver, which is already in less supply than the demand can satisfy…" 12/31/08 - No Ordinary Black Swan Event
"And this is no ordinary Black Swan event! No, sir! This is worse, as it is an economic Black Swan event that came from the misuse of fiat currencies that can be, and were, created without limit!" 12/30/08 - No Lag When Indicating Inflation
"And the reason is that the Lagging Indictor with its inflation detector attributes has been rising faster than the other two for as long as I can remember without doing the actual work to look it up." 12/29/08 - Illustrating How the Dollar Gets Whacked
"In the last 7 years, the dollar has fallen 33% according to the dollar index, which has fallen from 120 to 80, which is actually up as the dollar has exploded back 15%, rising from 72 to 83, in the year." 12/24/08 - A Government of People Eaters
"And it is especially worrisome now that the government's monumental Social Security, Medicare and Prescription Drug Coverage problems would be solved if all of us old people suddenly died." 12/23/08 - Loaned, Sold, and Gone… But Still Owned
"I realize, too late, that accounting was not the long suit of the audience, so I say, 'The guy to whom you loaned your car turned around and sold your car, kept the money, and you still think that you have the car? Hahahaha!'" 12/22/08 - A Novel Approach to Debt Management
"What? A $2 trillion federal budget deficit? In a $13 trillion national economy? Gaaahhhh! When the trade deficit is running at almost $900 billion a year? Double gaaahhhhh!" 12/19/08 - Economic Pseudoscience
"So, since all the world's currencies are now fiat currencies, and they can all be easily inflated by infinite amounts until they are as worthless as a Zimbabwean dollar, thus they are all equally as safe and ultimately as valuable, too!" 12/18/08 - Are You Smarter than a Bond Trader?
"Pardon me for interrupting today's Stupid Mogambo Rant (SMR) with my laughing…but every time I think of some bozo buying 30-year Treasury debt at a price that is so high that the bond then yields a teensy-weensy 3% or so for 30 freaking years, I have to laugh when I think of such blinding stupidity!" 12/17/08 - Collapse and Ruination from Glutonous Growth
"If $2.8 trillion has been lost, then how much of this lost money that came into existence when it was first borrowed from a bank, is still owed to a bank? Or the shadow banking system?" 12/16/08 - No Rest for the Unemployed
"Oddly enough, there is no statistical offset for people like me, who are the nation's over-employed, which is to say we are chronically lazy, worthless and undependable louts who SHOULD be unemployed, but who actually have jobs!" 12/15/08 - Markets Get an 'F' in P/E
"Anyway, the point is that this current Price-to-Earnings ratio of 19 for the S&P 500 index is so high…that it is still near where the market soon started down in a huge bear market, and is still high even after losing half its value! I'm scared!" 12/12/08 - Inflation: How Low is Too Low?
"So how low is this 'low' inflation rate that will allow the cutting of interest rates even though inflation is still positive? Well, it is now 2.1%, which has just fallen from 3.2%, and 2% inflation is the ECB's target! 'Inflation falling too low'! Hahahaha!" 12/11/08 - It's Always About the Money
"'It is always about the money!' for me, and you are hoping that I will use my dictatorial powers to get your money back for you, again proving that 'It is always about the money!' with you, too! Hahaha!" 12/10/08 - Emperor of the Gold Cartel
"Yeah! Emperor! That's it! Taking over the world where I could dispatch armies of bad-tempered underlings to fetch Alan Greenspan and ferret out all the people who aided and abetted him all those years, like this Bernanke creep, and bring them all to me!" 12/09/08 - Officially Screwed by the Real Inflation Rate
"Screw the 'official' inflation rate! But let's not dwell on an inflation rate of 20 percent, which means that prices will double in about three and a half years, because that kind of inflationary mayhem is the stuff of which revolutions, economic ruination and Embarrassing Mogambo Episodes (EME) are made! Yikes!" 12/08/08 - The $85 Billion Non-Event
"But yet this huge reduction of $85 billion in a week is, somehow, a non-event, even when considering that the Fed has doubled the stock of fabled High Powered Money to over $2 trillion in just the last couple of months! Beyond astonishing!" 12/05/08 - U.S. Hyperinflation Right Around the Corner?
"Hell, everybody with any brains knows that if the government keeps creating more and more money and credit, then consumer prices will rise exponentially and the economy will be ruined, just like Zimbabwe today…" 12/04/08 - Wearing Shorts in an Economic Winter
"You want me to take the other side of your short by going long, even though the market is down, and has been going down, and every freaking technical indicator that anyone has ever thought up says the market will continue going down? Hahahaha!" 12/03/08 - Tax Revenue Fails to Deliver
"The worse news, from the standpoint of a whole cornucopia of governments and taxing authorities that have sprung into being over the last 40 years, is that these kinds of 'fails to deliver' things are losses, and losses are deductible against taxable gains…" 12/02/08 - A Hitchhiker's Guide to Under-Priced Oil
"Now I can afford to cruise the streets looking for hitchhikers, so that I can give them a ride while I explain to them, 'Hey, kid! Did you know that money is created by debt nowadays? It is!'" 12/01/08 - Laughable "Loans" to Prevent the Bust
"I have some bad news for the U.S. government; the taxpayers are not prepared to loan anything to anybody! Hell, total debt-to-GDP is over 350% already, maybe 450%, which is, either way, the highest, by far, of anything I've seen in U.S. history…" 11/28/08 - Surviving the Money Flood
"I see that I have gotten off the subject, as this is not about how the banks acted like greedy pigs and how the Federal Reserve made it all possible, but about how the Fed is now literally flooding the world with money…" 11/26/08 - Inflationary Deflation a Dead-Bang Certainty
"M1 and M2 (money supply measures of cash and near-cash) are still increasing at a healthy clip, and it looks like M1, M2, and Mr. Williams' estimate of M3 are converging about at a growth rate of about 8%! Hahaha! This is too weird!" 11/25/08 - Salvation in the Cheap Oil Army
"And, as the news just keeps getting worse, Iran just asked OPEC to cut production by a further 1.5 million barrels per day, which comes just after OPEC cut production by 1.5 million barrels last month! Yikes!" 11/24/08 - Roasting G-20 Weenies on a Golden Spit
"As with my own future, Big Bad Things (BBT) are coming with regards to the value of the dollar and these G-20 weenies. And since simple prose seems so inadequate at a time like this, I give you a Mogambo Economic Poem (MEP)…" 11/21/08 - Finance…the American Way
"Hey! Deficit spending like profligate morons while running around the world taking what we want and killing anybody that gets in our way characterizes The American Way! You are proposing to destroy our native culture, you insensitive, genocidal, racist bastards!" 11/20/08 - Corporate Earnings Go Cliff Diving
"I run to the tables in Barron's, and I see that the earnings of the S&P500 - the 500 biggest corporations in the country - went down again last week to $46.10 from $51.37, a drop of about 10%!" 11/19/08 - Fed Up With Fed Credit
"I gasp in amazement that the total sum of Fed-supplied credit to the banks, accumulated bit by bit since the Fed was founded in 1913, totals $2.19 trillion, more than half of which was added in the last 9 weeks alone! Hahaha! We are so freaking doomed!" 11/18/08 - When Inflation Comes a-Knockin'
"Buy gold, silver and oil as fast as you can, you morons, or die a horrible death by inflation like the people of Zimbabwe!" 11/17/08 - The Governmental Gong Show
"I have two objections to this crap, one being that the People's Daily is wrong; the United States did NOT 'plunder' anybody; rather, the U.S. just took advantage of a bunch of ignorant rubes and hustled them out of their money!" 11/14/08 - Shielding the World from Financial Folly
"Apart from the fact that the English philosopher Herbert Spencer said, 'The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools', the joke is actually on me, as these Asian investors actually think that they deserve compensation for their stupidity by using the stupidity of us Americans as a model…" 11/12/08 - Debt Clock Runs on Borrowed Time
"And this time in history we have gone one step farther down the path of True Economic Insanity (TEI) in that we not only created and spent all that money on gluttonous consumption, but we borrowed it all into existence, too! Hahaha!" 11/10/08 - Wounded Wolves on the Financial Prairie
"I assume that bond buyers are all drug addicts who are not aware of what they are doing, morons who are not aware of what they are doing, or grubby slicksters who are buying them on behalf of drug addicts and morons! Hahaha!" 11/06/08 - The Incredible Growing Government
"And now that the governments of America have literally become the economy (and paying themselves handsomely in the process!), there is no way that the government can be allowed to shrink…" 11/05/08 - Hiding Under a Golden Rock
"This horror again reminds me of Ure's Disease, which is clinically described above as 'the onset of sudden sobriety and the realization that there really may be nowhere to hide', which is why gold always rises at the realization that there truly is 'nowhere to hide' except in gold (and silver), as everything else is down as much, or more!" 11/04/08 - Inflationary Record Book
"With inflation in prices running at more than 10%, and inflation in credit running at up to 100% and more, bond investors are getting the lowest yield in half a freaking century? Hahahaha! Morons!" 11/03/08 - No Soothing Salve for Economic Ills
"I agree with this only because there IS no soothing salve for the globe's economic ills with which to effect a cure, which means that there is no economic 'solution' to over-indebtedness and governmental stupidity that does not involve incredible pain…" 10/31/08 - Nightmares of Financial Misery
"But this monetary expansion thing is the stuff of nightmares, too, and one day soon you will wake up screaming in the middle of the night, bathed in sweat, jolted out of a nightmare of financial misery and suffering that is all but unimaginable…" 10/30/08 - Gold, Faith and Credit
"But now these investors get (probably at best!) their money back; and probably only then after years of legal wrangling where the lawyers end up with most of the money anyway! Hahahaha! Welcome to the full faith and credit of American markets!" 10/29/08 - A Bull in a Silver Shop
"More than one-seventh of all the silver bullion 'thought to exist' in the whole world was suddenly bought up in less than a year, and yet the price of silver has been pounded down to less than 10 bucks an ounce? No wonder I am so bullish on silver!" 10/28/08 - Mind Numbing Oil Facts
"No wonder all our Treasury secretaries always said that 'a strong dollar is in the interests of America', and now we see that, similarly, a strong yuan is in the interests of China, as it makes oil, food and all imports cheaper!" 10/27/08 - Reserved Seats for Big Credit Spenders
"But whether they care or not, the fact is that last week the Federal Reserve boosted Total Fed Credit, namely the amount of fresh credit that appears on the books of the banks, by another staggering $245.4 billion! In One Freaking Week (OFW)!" 10/24/08 - Unapologetic Economic Stuidity
"And if you are not horrified at the prospect of continually inflating the money supply, then I know that you either work for the Federal Reserve, teach economics at Princeton or are just plain brain-damaged…" 10/23/08 - The Velocity of Worthless Money
"Although this ignores the ugly effect of taxes, which inexorably grinds the original dollar down to zero as it goes from hand to hand, it is also a good example of the velocity of money (the number of times per year that a dollar changes hands)…" 10/22/08 - Financial Pop Quiz
"This is Truly, Truly Staggering (TTS)! And to show you how staggering, perhaps it is time for a Mogambo Pop Quiz. Answer this multiple-choice question: 'Inflation in the money supply is the precursor to…'" 10/21/08 - A Little Thing Called Inflation
"The Fed is now giving foreigners 'unlimited amounts of dollar funds', and yet I cannot get another dollar with which to turn my ordinary burger-and-fries dinner into a Grande Feast of double fries and two perfectly-fried all-beef patties?" 10/20/08 - Theatre of the Fiscally Absurd
"Does Bernanke think that monetary inflation produces price inflation everywhere except here in the USA? Hahaha! I don't remember Mr. Friedman saying that!" 10/16/08 - Dubai Reads from America's Economic Playbook
"I don't know about how they do it in Dubai, but here in America, we destroy our money by creating more and more of it, which I measure with Total Fed Credit, which is the magical stuff that appears in the banks as an increase in credit available for lending." 10/15/08 - A Left a Nobel Drive
"This guy has now won a Nobel Prize, which is now just another award that used to have some prestige, but which is now - as the prizes to Al Gore and Krugman attest - just another filler blurb in the newspaper ('More Nobel Prizes awarded to miscellaneous friends of the Left')." 10/14/08 - No Savings Allowed
"I don't know why anybody is surprised at this, as, according to the novel-yet-laughably-stupid theory propounded by the financial services industry of always 'putting money and equity to work', you are SUPPOSED to have zero excess cash!" 10/13/08 - Currencies Battle for Dirtbag Supremacy
"Equally weird is that gold is also paradoxically going down in price, even though the dollar is going down in buying power because inflation is higher than the yields the dollars can buy, and the only strength of the dirtbag dollar is that it is appreciating against other currencies, but it is only because those other currencies are a worse bunch of dirtbags!" 10/10/08 - Targeting the Steady Inflation of Losses
"Purposely causing inflation! This is insane! This is beyond insane! This is the work of the anti-Christ! The purpose of a central bank is to prevent inflation, and to make sure that inflation is always, always, always zero!" 10/09/08 - Gobbled Up by the Giant Derivatives Monster
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, I say that these foreigners will turn up to loan us money as long as we have weapons, technology, land and useful assets to sell them, but the time will soon come when they will be peddling them to us. In the meantime, how big is the derivatives monster that is going to destroy the world's economic system?" 10/08/08 - Reserving the Right to Destroy the Dollar
by The Mogambo Guru "To show you that the Federal Reserve should instead be called the Government Slush Fund (GSF), the government borrowed most of this new money, as we realize when we see that Treasury Gross Public Debt went up by an eye-popping $336 billion last week…" 10/07/08 - Do the Russians Have it Right?
by The Mogambo Guru "Then, to show you that there is a perspective beyond the American perspective where we are the Center Of The Freaking Universe (COTFU) and everybody has to do what we say, even if they don't like it, the paper says, 'What can Russia do about this?'" 10/06/08 - Government Spending Spree
by The Mogambo Guru "Tragically, while stocks can go bust, and bonds can go bust, and houses can go bust (and they are), the growth-in-government boom cannot be allowed to go bankrupt, because half of the people in the country now receive a government check…" 10/03/08 - A Campaign Against Pejorative Gold Hoarding
by The Mogambo Guru "My plan is a simple one, that if Reuters does not issue an apology right away, I shall take this as an act of war and, as a good German in the extreme sense, invade Poland, and subjugate France and all of Europe…" 10/02/08 - Fed Up With Total Fed Credit
by The Mogambo Guru "My voice trembles as I read aloud that now, for the first time ever, the Fed has created over a trillion dollars' worth of new credit, $1,134,942,000,000.00 to be exact, in the banks, which comes to $3,783 for every man, woman and child in America." 10/01/08 - The $200 Million House of Bread
by The Mogambo Guru "In final preparation, I quickly calculated the price of bread 4 years into the future after suffering a 15.3% monthly inflation, and found that, in four years, a loaf of bread that costs $2 today will then cost $1,857.11!" 09/30/08 - Inflation In-Stereo
by The Mogambo Guru "The next thing I know, my stupid boss is at my door, glaring at me, and I can see in her eyes that she is really pissed about something important. But since I often scream like that about the horrors of inflation in prices, I know it can't be about that…" 09/29/08 - The World's Most Powerful Currency?
by The Mogambo Guru "In short, those crafty Chinese, a fifth of the world's population, may be getting ready to issue a gold-standard money, which will instantly make their currency the strongest in the world…" 09/26/08 - Big Banks and Bumbling Idiots
by The Mogambo Guru "Right now we have greedy, lying, thieving, staggeringly stupid weenies owning the banks, and tomorrow there will just be two more big banks owned by greedy, lying, thieving, staggeringly stupid weenies! Hahaha!" 09/25/08 - Cower Before the Great and Powerful Paulson
by The Mogambo Guru "My God! This is beyond belief! The Secretary of the Treasury will be above the law! My God! I was going to wax loudly indignant, as should all thinking people, when Mr. Sorkin eclipsed me…" 09/24/08 - Who's Doing Who a Favor?
by The Mogambo Guru "Instantly, I was out the door, into the car, careening crazily down the streets on my way to the bank! Bursting into the loan officer's office, I said, 'How much money you got? I'll borrow it all!'" 09/23/08 - What is a Gold Bug?
by The Mogambo Guru "A genuine gold bug is a person who is emboldened by knowing that 4,000 years of continuous economic history proves that EVERY fiat currency has failed, as they will always fail, and that gold will rise, just like it always has…" 09/22/08 - Financial Head Loppings
by The Mogambo Guru "So, for the Congressional Budget Office to bring up the totally irrelevant 2007 fiscal budget deficit of $161 billion makes me yell, 'Off with his head! Off with his head!' with every bit of imperious Red Queen arrogance I can muster." 09/19/08 - The Greatest Buying Opportunity of All Time
by The Mogambo Guru "I can see that this is drifting too far to the "theoretical" side of things for my tastes, and my impatience flared, as all I want is a way to make a lot of money by betting on gold and silver soaring in price…" 09/18/08 - Funding Your Retirement on Poor Pizza Profits
by The Mogambo Guru "Ten years ago, the average investor invested a whole 6-slice pizza, and now, ten years later, they have as little as one slice of a pizza to show for their efforts? And somebody still thinks that they can fund a retirement on that kind of performance?" 09/17/08 - Landing a Broken Airplane
by The Mogambo Guru "I prove this brash allegation by showing how few of them own any gold, even as the Federal Reserve keeps expanding the money supply, which is so stupid that it qualifies as 'moronic.'" 09/16/08 - Topsy Turvy Government Policy
by The Mogambo Guru "Drawing myself up in a posture of overbearing arrogance born of what appears to be some kind of natural law or something, I point out that booms always turned to busts, and precious metals always turned out to be the best investment of all." 09/15/08 - Spooky Stats from the U.S. Mint
by The Mogambo Guru "It gets spooky when he goes on to note that 'indeed, the Mint's inventory did vary monthly, up until March 2006. But according to the Treasury's reports, the Mint's working stock has remained exactly 2,783,218.656 ounces since April 2006.'" 09/12/08 - Going into Debt to Buy a Debt
by The Mogambo Guru "You elected corrupt, socialist scumbag morons who have now spent us into deficit-spending bankruptcy by letting the Federal Reserve create the money that people borrowed (thus creating a debt) so that they could buy Treasury debt! Hahaha! Going into debt to buy a debt!" 09/11/08 - Stupidity Protection Plan
by The Mogambo Guru "Man, oh man! 'Nothing is off the table'! Wow! How come I never have anyone covering my Mogambo Incompetent Butt (MIB) like that, saying, 'Let's protect Mogambo from the results of his own stupidity and stick somebody else with the bill?'" 09/10/08 - Deployed to the Unemployment Line
by The Mogambo Guru "The latest report of employment showed that the U.S. unemployment rate is now at 6.1%, which is up from 5.7% a month ago. Worse, of the 7 sectors tracked in the report, only in government and education/healthcare is employment rising!" 09/09/08 - Robbing the Poor of Jeffersonian Wisdom
by The Mogambo Guru "Because the government (in our case, through its proxy the Federal Reserve) creates excessive amounts of money and credit…the poor must consume less, and the money they spend flows to the rich guys who borrowed the money in the first place!" 09/08/08 - No Accounting for Currency
by The Mogambo Guru "Now I am curious to know how much an ounce of gold would be if the $829 billion in actual U.S. cash-and-coin that exists was netted against the 261 million ounces of gold that the Fed is supposed to have. Hmmm!" 09/05/08 - The Assets of Penultimate Fools
by The Mogambo Guru "…all the money 'invested' during the boom in stocks, bonds and houses is lost unless more money is created for another crop of 'greater fools' to buy the assets from the 'penultimate fools!' Hahaha! It's insane!" 09/04/08 - Pride in Acting Like a Pawnshop
by The Mogamob Guru "And while I have never, to my knowledge, recommended that people 'act like pawnshops', I will note that they are accumulating gold, and so the advice seems like good advice, as opposed to my Usual Mogambo Crappy Advice (UMCA)!" 09/03/08 - Lightening the Mood with the GDP Deflator
by The Mogambo Guru "I am laughing insanely at the sheer hilarity that inflation is estimated to be 1.2%, and yet I am so scared and outraged at this insult to my intelligence that my teeth are clenched and grinding so hard that sparks are actually flying out of my mouth…" 09/02/08 - Eliminating Income Tax?
by The Mogambo Guru "I find myself getting up and finding out that the National Debt is now a terrifying $9.608 trillion, and which is up a whopping $637 billion from this time last year, while the government only admits that they borrowed half that! Yikes!" 09/01/08 - Silver Stats that Will Make You Salivate
by The Mogambo Guru "I'm a guy who is an investor in silver, and who would be a BIGGER investor in silver if my stubborn wife was more reasonable about how to apportion my pitiful income among the various clamoring creditors and greedy children…" 08/29/08 - Central Bankers Go to Austrian School?
by The Mogambo Guru "The Fed and the other central banks say they are finally, after all these years, going to restrict credit and keep the money supply from growing, to keep inflation from growing, like as with gold-backed money?" 08/28/08 - Intaxicating Rebate Checks
by The Mogambo Guru "The worst inflation in consumer prices is, in case you were wondering, in Venezuela, suffering a terrifying 33.7% inflation, followed by Pakistan at 24.3%, with Japan being the best at 2% inflation! A 2% inflation is the best in the world! Yikes!" 08/27/08 - A-Holes at the J-Hole
by The Mogambo Guru "This convention, which I routinely dub 'A-holes at the J-Hole', still makes me smile because it so perfectly describes my Disdainful And Highly Scornful (DAHS) attitude towards them all because of their Complete And Utter Failure (CAUF)…" 08/26/08 - Retirement Wake-Up Call
by The Mogambo Guru "Perhaps this loss in housing equity is why an AARP survey that found increasing numbers of people who are eligible for retirement are, instead, continuing to work, and some of them are even going back to work after retiring." 08/25/08 - Worthless Money, Worthless Economy
by The Mogambo Guru "The worst part is that this is also true: worthless money, worthless economy. I wish I could find a laugh in there, but I can't. Plenty to weep about, though! And plenty of time to repent at leisure, too!" 08/22/08 - Profits Get Beaten with an Ugly Stick
by The Mogambo Guru "I will not go into it, as it usually means that I am going to be fired soon, and I don't want to think about that right now, other than to say that 'profits that suffer' is ugly in the best of times, and it will be Much, Much Uglier (MMU) this time…" 08/21/08 - Double-Count Accounting Magic
by The Mogambo Guru "The bad news is that their money is all gone, but the good news is that I have effectively doubled our family income if one is allowed (like the government and Social Security) to double-count the money I borrowed from them as still being in their accounts, although I spent it! Accounting magic!" 08/20/08 - The New Silver: Now Made with Real Paper
by The Mogambo Guru "So, from now on, if you ever want to buy some silver, MSS will sell it to you at the lowest price possible; the spot price! All you have to do is just send the money to me, in cash, in a plain brown envelope addressed to 'Occupant', and I will gladly send you a piece of paper that says I sold you some silver." 08/19/08 - The Profit Potential of Tasty Pork Products
by The Mogambo Guru "I think there's a Big, Big, BIG Freaking Opportunity (BBBFO) for America and Canada to export pork to China! As one hog-industry observer put it, 'The potential for further Chinese importation of pork is almost incomprehensible.'" 08/18/08 - Unemployment Survival Guide
by The Mogambo Guru "All of this unemployment must be impacting demand for goods and services, which may be what prompted Jim Sinclair of jsmineset.com to ask a lot of questions, including 'Do you really believe that present inflation is demand driven?'" 08/15/08 - The Big Stinking Economic Heap
by The Mogambo Guru "And with a fiat currency and a demonstrated willingness on the part of Congress, and every other government on the face of the planet, to abide every possible corruption…they can spend and spend and spend, and it will never end until it collapses in a Big Stinking Heap (BSH)!" 08/14/08 - Gold and the Out of Whack Economy
by The Mogambo Guru "In case you were wondering, China actually kicked our American butt a long time ago, as China 'surpassed the United States as the world's second largest gold producer in 2007 with 270.491 tons of output.'" 08/13/08 - The Great Variety of Rich Poor People
by The Mogambo Guru "As I stretched out on a pile of rotting cabbage in preparation for this exciting bit of news, I was actually all tingly at the thought of seeing how the inequality between the rich and the poor can be shown to be offset by sheer variety of goods in the marketplace!" 08/12/08 - The U.S. Dollar on Roman Steroids
by The Mogambo Guru "'The modest decline corresponded with Rome's rise to become an empire. From the original 66 grains of silver, the value had only declined 10% to 60 grains, by the time of Julius Caesar (49 BC). But soon afterwards monetary tumult commenced in earnest.'" 08/11/08 - The Pension Plan Cookie Thief
by The Mogambo Guru "I will note for the record that every time I try that crap with the employee pension plan or the petty cash account at work, everybody starts running around screaming about what a thieving, lying, despicable crook I am…"
08/07/08 - Fractional-Reserve Banking at its Finest
by The Mogambo Guru "TFC is what gets created with the literal push of a button at the Fed, and then deposited into the banks (or into the Fed itself!) and then turned into actual money when someone borrows this just-created-out-of-thin-air credit…" 08/06/08 - Monetary Joyride
by The Mogambo Guru "I explained that, yes, I had my foot on the accelerator, but the car went fast all by itself! In fact, the more I stepped on the accelerator, the faster the car went! It's obviously one of the mysteries of the universe!" 08/05/08 - Nowhere to Hide from Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, as far as I can tell, diving back into my dark little cubbyhole in renewed fear, the economy is already in shambles because of inflation in consumer prices, and my marriage, my life and my career are in shambles because everybody hates me and is out to get me, and that is why I seem to be broke all the damned time." 08/04/08 - The Half and Half in Your Economic Coffee
by The Mogambo Guru "And given that banks, when selling foreclosed houses, actually net about half the price of the mortgage, that means to me that houses are, by extension, overpriced by half, and as such will surely not be rising in price for a long, long time to come." 08/01/08 - Betrayed by the Village Idiot
by The Mogambo Guru "I say that the lesson to be learned here is that we have been betrayed by Congress, again and again, as it screws up everything it touches, which is what government routinely does, which is why it is obvious that the Constitution never meant for them to be doing this." 07/31/08 - Inflationary Horror Movie
by The Mogambo Guru "But real inflation…is roaring far above a measly 5%, and while 'annual CPI-U Surges to 5.0%', as per the headlines, inflation measured the older, pre-Clinton way is 12.6% in June! Which is up from 11.8% in May! Yow yow yow! We're freaking doomed!" 07/30/08 - Too Little, Too Late to Stop Creating Money
by The Mogambo Guru "So why am I so disconsolate that the Fed is not increasing money and credit, and so is not increasing the money supply and so is not increasing inflation in consumer prices? Shouldn't I be happy?…No, because it is too late to stop now!" 07/29/08 - How to Be Naked With Shorts On
by The Mogambo Guru "The problem in 'going short' is obvious, as you are thinking, 'How do you sell something that you don't own? Is this another of your Sleazy Mogambo Tricks (SMT) to take my money…'" 07/28/08 - Confessions of a Silver Optimist
by The Mogambo Guru "The historical high for silver was set 531 years ago…at a princely $806 an ounce. By comparison, the price of silver less than $19 an ounce today, and was only about $5 an ounce in 1998, after having bottomed at under $4 an ounce in 1992." 07/25/08 - Experience in Catastrophe
by The Mogambo Guru "One of the things that he finds worrisome is that 'things may even be worse than I first thought', which probably shows why he was not selected to be the Republican presidential nominee; he is inexperienced in catastrophe." 07/24/08 - Mr. Foreign Investor's Neighborhood
by The Mogambo Guru "Perhaps the reason that Treasury Secretary Paulson wants to bail out Government Sponsored Entities (GSEs) like Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac is because of who owns the shares of the companies, which will go to zero if Fannie and Freddie are allowed to fail like they deserve to do." 07/23/08 - The Problem Solving Paulson Package
by The Mogambo Guru "The Paulson Package solves all of our problems! It merely requires you to give me permission to use either unlimited company funds to spend at my total secret discretion, or give me immunity to use a bazooka or baseball bat to whack our enemies…" 07/22/08 - Economy Forces Strippers to Jockey for Pole Position
by The Mogambo Guru "An adult-club owner named Joe Redner says that although business is down 25%, 'the economy does have one upside for the business - it's bringing out more women willing to give pole dancing a try.' Hahaha!" 07/21/08 - The Power of the Chinese Credit Card
by The Mogambo Guru "Note the clever way that I used three exclamation points to emphasize the fact that 1.58 billion cards in the hands of Chinese shoppers is a lot, and is equal to 5 cards for every man, woman and child in America! That's buying power!" 07/18/08 - Inflation Induced Fainting Spells
by The Mogambo Guru "My head is swimming and I feel a swoon coming on at the idea of 38% inflation, and I would have fainted, too, if I hadn't remembered what happened the LAST time I had a fainting spell because of inflation in consumer prices…" 07/17/08 - The Voyages of the Debt-Addled Enterprise
by The Mogambo Guru "Yet, against this staggering load of incestuous liabilities, and liabilities masquerading as assets that totals a third of the annual GDP output of the whole freaking country, these two greedy, corrupt, filthy pieces of debt-addled Government Sponsored Enterprise crap have only a paltry $80 billion in capital! Hahahaha!" 07/16/08 - A Poor Job of Stamping Out Food Price Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "Currency in Circulation, which is actual cash money created out of real paper and ink or various metals, rose over $6.3 billion last week alone! $6 billion bucks! In one week! That's almost $20 for every man, woman and child in America! In one week!" 07/15/08 - Highway to the Fiscal Danger Zone
by The Mogambo Guru "Yesterday, when inflation in the money supply raised the prices of stocks and the prices of bonds and the prices of houses and the prices of monumental government spending (including the money for programs like his), that was not a 'danger zone' either." 07/14/08 - A Better Use for Your 401(k)
by The Mogambo Guru "The advice to never touch your 401(k) is not so cut-and-dried, and it could easily be that immediately taking all that money out of the retirement plan would be the optimal move…" 07/11/08 - New Car Smells Like Long-Term Investing
by The Mogambo Guru "Your gain on the $7,200 is just enough for you to have, after 28 years, an after-tax price of a new car ($26,950), which means that you just break even! Hahaha! In essence, you invested a new car to get a new car, after waiting 28 years! Hahaha!" 07/10/08 - Government Sanctioned Ponzi Schemes
by The Mogambo Guru "The Implacable Screaming Mogambo (ISM) goes freaking berserk at the economic insanity of it all as he watches, horrified, as asset prices get bid higher and higher in a boiling frenzy of speculation with all of this new Federal Reserve money and credit, and which will end badly when the Ponzi game falls apart…" 07/09/08 - To Hell in a Currency Basket
by The Mogambo Guru "Some morons suggest that they should peg their currencies against a basket of other currencies! Hahaha! I may be drunk out of my Freaking Mogambo Mind (FMM) on some really cheap hooch, but even so, I am sure that this is a Particularly Bad Idea (PBI), as those other countries are pegging their currencies to the dollar, too!" 07/08/08 - Sleeping Through a Catastrophic Economy
by The Mogambo Guru "I told you to buy gold… But did you? No! You called the police and had them come over here to make me shut up just because it was 2:00 AM and you wanted to sleep like a stupid little baby through the catastrophe that IS the damned economy!" 07/07/08 - A World Without Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "'If the inflation introduced in the United States is excluded, a small miracle is revealed, namely something approaching price stability.' Hahahaha! Let me get this straight: If you take out inflation from the rise in prices, then prices did not rise?" 07/04/08 - The Biggest Loser of Purchasing Power
by The Mogambo Guru "You will lose more in purchasing power (as central bank monetary inflation destroys the currency by printing enough to finance the higher stock prices) than you will ever net in gains…" 07/03/08 - Banks are Suffering from their Own Stupidity
by The Mogambo Guru "What makes this $691 billion loss so special is that 'such losses could jeopardize balance sheets because the US banking system had only $US 1,350 billion of equity capital'. Hahaha! They've lost two-thirds of the banks capital! Hahaha! Morons!" 07/02/08 - Vaguely Resembling Real Price Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "Mr. Samuelson is also admitting that he is completely ignorant of John Williams and his shadowstats.com, where inflation is calculated the way it was actually measured in 1974, and which shows that price inflation is now HIGHER than it was in 1974…" 07/01/08 - More Bats and a Bigger Budget
by The Mogambo Guru "Looking furtively about with my beady, rat-like eyes to a route of escape, I was nevertheless frozen to the spot when he said, 'Our nation has come to expect the Federal Reserve to step in to avert events that pose unacceptable systemic risk.'" 06/30/08 - Funding the Bacchanalian Excess
by The Mogambo Guru "The bad news is that today's feasters, gorging themselves at the government trough, are not going to commit suicide. They are going to riot, and elect politicians to continue the feast, regardless of the cost." 06/27/08 - Gold Bats a Thousand on Softball Questions
by The Mogambo Guru "And since we are talking soft, fluffy, slow-pitch questions, I'll ask one: What monetary policy is the best and most stringent? Easy one: The gold standard!" 06/26/08 - Love/Hate Inflationship
by The Mogambo Guru "We love inflation and we hate inflation! So, it's a love/hate relationship! The most confusing kind! No wonder my head is spinning all the time!" 06/25/08 - Using Modern Economics to Scare Children
by The Mogambo Guru "And don't get me started on how increases in Social Security payments have lagged increases in prices for years and years, because I hear plenty of that from people who depend on Social Security checks." 06/24/08 - Economic Egomaniacs
by The Mogambo Guru "Now, total government taxation consumes half of all incomes, all of which goes around and around until my head is spinning and I wonder how it is possible that any country with as many schools, colleges and universities as we have can be so freakishly, perversely, brain-dead as to believe that such idiocy was even freaking possible?" 06/23/08 - Inflation in Spades
by The Mogambo Guru "This terrifying news of rising inflation and rising bond yields had the curious effect of producing a sort of fight-or-flight reaction in the Mighty Manly Mogambo (MMM), in that I start involuntarily crying like a baby…" 06/20/08 - Asking Too Much of a Fiat Currency
by The Mogambo Guru "Trying to preserve buying power with advanced purchases of oil! Sort of like buying gold and silver, but messier. Stick with silver and gold. You'll be glad you did, as your motives are the same as everybody else's…" 06/19/08 - Nothing to Be Done
by The Mogambo Guru "Perhaps the fact that nothing can be done explains their inaction, because if something could be done, somebody would have thought of it in the last 3,000 years of idiotic governments destroying themselves with creating too much money and credit." 06/18/08 - Raising the Roof on the Debt Ceiling
by The Mogambo Guru "The debt ceiling was raised less than a year ago from $8.965 trillion, which means that the despicable Congress (except Ron Paul) authorized themselves to spend about $500 billion…" 06/17/08 - Many Thanks to the Damn Greedy Banks
by The Mogambo Guru "I am so scared and paranoid at the economic horror that is looming in our future that I have been drinking heavily and consuming various medications in various quantities just so I can stop screaming…in horror about inflation in prices…" 06/16/08 - Silver Saves Investors Big and Small
by The Mogambo Guru "And why is everybody, big and small investors alike, suddenly buying all of this silver? Could it be because silver…has always (for the last 4,000 years in a row, anyway) gone up in price when the value of the money went down? Hahaha! You bet it is!" 06/13/08 - A Phantom Increase in Income
by The Mogambo Guru "If you are like me, you are suddenly realizing that your income did not go up by 0.2%, or any percent, because if it did, it seems like you would have remembered it. And anyway, if my income DID go up, then where in the hell is all of this money?" 06/12/08 - Investing Made Simple
by The Mogambo Guru "Suddenly I think, 'Ahhh! I see! Demand is more than supply, meaning price will go up until demand equals supply!', at which point I think, 'Whee! Investing is easy when you know to avoid stocks and bonds and buy gold, silver and oil…'" 06/11/08 - Jabba the Gold
by The Mogambo Guru "To get a hot chick to say, 'Take me and ravish me, you Hot Mogambo Stud (HMS)!', you can't use force like old Jabba there. And that means willful cooperation, and that means you are going to need some serious, serious money." 06/10/08 - Crude Up and Kills Created Money
by The Mogambo Guru "This is the Big, Big Reason (BBR) that I am now looking for a cushy job as an oil company CEO, because I would make a lot of money for doing practically nothing and apparently knowing even less. It's perfect for me!" 06/09/08 - The Declining Quality of Dollar Menus
by The Mogambo Guru "To show you how things really work in the real world, Mr. Pento says that nobody is sacrificing profits, as 'In the case of McDonald's, it may be necessary to reduce the quantity or quality of items on the dollar menu in order to maintain the price.'" 06/06/08 - Economic Lessons from Alexander Pope
by The Mogambo Guru "Luckily, I had been transferring lots of money from the operating account at the bank into cash in the office safe in case of some kind of emergency. And sure enough, here's an emergency! Who says I don't know how to plan ahead? Hahaha!" 06/05/08 - How to Remain Calm During a Price Explosion
by The Mogambo Guru "I'm barricaded in my house; there are a zillion 'Trespassers will be shot!' signs all over the yard; and I am buying gold and silver with every dime I can steal from my wife's purse or the kids' piggy banks." 06/04/08 - Sounding the Government Debt Alarm
by The Mogambo Guru "But that was not the only thing that was causing mayhem with the Mogambo Economic Alarm System (MEAS), as the Federal Reserve itself sold off another $11 billion of its government debt last week! Yikes!" 06/03/08 - Howling at the Moon
by The Mogambo Guru "You invested $100 in 2002 buying power to get back, after five years, $76 in 2002 buying power! Hahaha! Your 'fabulous' investment made a paper gain, but produced a real, inflation-adjusted loss of 25% of your money! Hahaha!" 06/02/08 - A Paralyzing Rise in Money Supply
by The Mogambo Guru "Apparently, he mistook the look of sheer, paralyzing horror on my face at this revelation of such a massive expansion of the money supply (because it will lead directly to inflation in consumer prices), to be mere confusion on my part." 05/30/08 - A Worrisome Economic Understatement
by The Mogambo Guru "Monetary policy is so loose that real interest rates (the nominal interest rate less the rate of inflation) are less than zero, and they think it is 'worrying'? Hahahaha! Talk about British reserve and understatement! Hahahaha! Wow!" 05/29/08 - The Dollar Aligned Dollar
by The Mogambo Guru "And in case you want to know if the dollar is aligned with the dollar, then - Hahaha! - yes, the dollar is most certainly aligned with the dollar, and therefore, as the Economist magazine says, we well see 'the biggest price rises.'" 05/28/08 - Fiat Ruination
by The Mogambo Guru "As the solid foundation of your True Mogambo Enlightenment (TME), you have the fact that not once in the 4,000-year history of man and money has this 'fiat money' crap NOT led to total ruination. Not once. Not even close." 05/27/08 - All Sell and No Buy
by The Mogambo Guru "I can see by the look of horror on your face that you have heard enough today. We'll take it up again tomorrow, or whenever I sober up after hearing this Awful, Awful News (AAN) myself. Brrr! The blood runs cold!" 05/26/08 - Inflationary Tortillas
by The Mogambo Guru "Consumers are suffering because the stupid European governments boosted spending for a decade or more, the money financed by debt, and it is all of this spending that has made the purchasing power of the euro to fall." 05/23/08 - Screwed Out of Buying Power
by The Mogambo Guru "But maybe bondholders are so used to being screwed out of buying power that they don't even notice anymore. Or they are all taking drugs and don't realize that they are being screwed out of buying power." 05/22/08 - Applauding the Ridiculous
by The Mogambo Guru "'For 25 years, the Fed has kept inflation at an average of 3.2 per cent a year - that should be applauded'! Hahaha! You will go a Long, Long Time (LLT) long time before you hear something so ridiculous! Hahahaha! Applauded! Hahahaha!" 05/21/08 - Banking on Incompetence and Theft
by The Mogambo Guru "I will point out that you can make an argument that the corporate motto of 'No refunds for any reason, including incompetence and theft!' is not even original, as that is the whole attitude of the banks in general and the Federal Reserve in particular: incompetence and theft!" 05/20/08 - Relishing a Golden Experience
by The Mogambo Guru "Soon everything you love will be gone, and then you will appreciate the wry humor of the expression 'Experience is what you have left when everything else is gone.' Hahahaha!" 05/19/08 - 'Oil Bust' Headline Makes a Good Punch Line
by The Mogambo Guru "Perhaps part of the humor is that this comes at the same time as the price of gasoline went up 3 cents to another record high of an average of $3.70 a gallon. This is up 22% from this time last year! 22 percent! 22! Hahahaha!" 05/16/08 - The Earthling Economics Experiment
by The Mogambo Guru "Why don't they do what they know they should, especially since the freaking Constitution of the United States of America requires that money be only of only silver and gold, so that a fiat currency would be impossible?" 05/15/08 - The Economic Sky Has Fallen
by The Mogambo Guru "I naturally jump to the conclusion that this is the worst inflation in U.S. history, and that it is time to seal myself into the Impregnable Mogambo Bunker (IMB) and shoot at anything that moves because the economic sky has fallen…" 05/14/08 - A Shrinking Trade Deficit is Still a Deficit
by The Mogambo Guru "So the total swing from a monthly surplus of $63 to a deficit of $58 billion has been a staggering $121 billion! You can probably tell by the way my eyes spin comically in my head that this is a Big Freaking Change, and it scares the hell out of me." 05/13/08 - Chicken Feed on Increased Food Prices
by The Mogambo Guru "And regardless of how many 'nightmares' anybody's lawyer says his client has had as a result of an alleged 'hostile work environment', the real nightmare is knowing that inflation in prices generally follows inflation in the money supply." 05/12/08 - Government Approves 'Unemployed' as Job Description
by The Mogambo Guru "Maybe this 'recession' thing is why the Labor Department reported that the U.S. lost another 20,000 jobs in April. In fact, the economy has shed 260,000 jobs since New Year's Day!" 05/09/08 - Stranger than Fictional Balance Sheets
by The Mogambo Guru "I am curious as to what 'lowering assumptions' means to these S&P people, as I have recently been told by my family that they have 'lowered' their assumptions again, too, and that they now collectively assume that I have hit bottom…" 05/08/08 - The REAL Reason Everything Costs So Much
by The Mogambo Guru "So where is that other $49 billion, if they borrowed it but did not add it to reserves? Who the hell knows? Gaaahh! My head is spinning! I cannot even understand this new corrupt crap anymore!" 05/07/08 - A Fear of Falling Fed Credit
by The Mogambo Guru "As I was contemplating how my blood got suddenly colder, I was taking a long pull from a bottle of really cheap tequila to try and calm my ragged nerves about this lack of additional TFC thing." 05/06/08 - Higher Prices for Smaller Portions
by The Mogambo Guru "The result is that the price of packaged food is going up by more than the rise in the underlying commodities would suggest, which (according to government statistics) is at least 20% in the last year, and often much, much more." 05/05/08 - The Magic of 'Product Substitution'
by The Mogambo Guru "It is this last fraud that has been used to such success by Mogambo Inter-Planetary Industries (MIPI), by which we commit an as-yet legalized extortion by utilizing the word 'improved'." 05/02/08 - Gold Price Suppression Scheme
by The Mogambo Guru "And as to the notion that the Fed has sold half of our nation's gold, I think that is being generous as hell, as I see no reason why the Fed would stop at only half…" 05/01/08 - The Velocity of Floral Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "But after all of this, you suddenly realize that the money that was taxed away comes roaring back into the economy as government spending, making a mockery of the whole thing, and then there is inflation to consider…" 04/30/08 - Trainee Makes Bank Bosses Look Stupid
by The Mogambo Guru "You can see how I am despondent and angry that I am the one who is wearing a stupid nametag that says 'Trainee' and getting hot grease spattered all over me, while they make the big money by being so freaking wrong!" 04/29/08 - At the Center of a Snowball of Debt
by The Mogambo Guru "Total debt everywhere, like Old Man River, just keeps rolling along, like a snowball rolling downhill, getting bigger and bigger, which is such a strange mix of metaphors that I realize that I am completely confused and frightened." 04/28/08 - Fried in the Financial Sun
by The Mogambo Guru "By how much is the Libor lending rate understated? Maybe as much as 0.3%, which doesn't sound like that much, but when you are talking about trillions and trillions of pounds and euros of debt, it adds up to a lot of money!" 04/25/08 - Shocking the Food Right Out of Your Mouth
by The Mogambo Guru "This is the basis of the new Mogambo Diet Plan (MDP), and you can see how that kind of 'kiss your own nasty butt goodbye because you are going to die' news, delivered in a constant, shrill, high-decibel voice would make you lose weight!" 04/24/08 - Funding the Food Price Fiasco
by The Mogambo Guru "The IMF, glorying as ever in its failures, just like the Federal Reserve, now promotes the laughable idea to 'tackle' rising food prices by having donor economies give other people money to pay higher food prices! Hahaha!" 04/23/08 - Magical Money from Thin Air
by The Mogambo Guru "This TFC-not-expanding thing is Bad, Bad News (BBN) because this is the stuff that the Federal Reserve creates at their whim, which causes credit to appear on the books of the banks, which turns into money when someone takes out a loan at a bank." 04/22/08 - 8 Million Golden Reasons
by The Mogambo Guru "A lot of people have a lot of theories as to why gold is going down, when the theory and the entire history of economic mankind say it should be going up, and most of them are right, to one degree or another, as there are as many reasons for acting as there are actors, and there are eight million stories in the naked city." 04/21/08 - Disproportionate Derivatives
by The Mogambo Guru "The total value of the existing global gargantuan globular glut of derivatives is estimated to be more than $700 trillion! Compare this stupefying fact to the associated fact that global GDP is only about a lousy $50 trillion!" 04/18/08 - Inflation of the Third Kind
by The Mogambo Guru "My God! This is all inflation news that is beyond terrible, but it seems so much less than that after the 73% rate of crude goods! But the reality is that we're freaking doomed, whether it seems like it or not!" 04/17/08 - Heart Attacks and Tax Codes
by The Mogambo Guru "Already beset by demons of my deteriorating mental and cardiac capacity, the idea that the capital gains tax was already 5% and I hadn't even noticed had me in a panic! What else wasn't I aware of? I shuddered to think!" 04/16/08 - The Monetarist School of Economic Assassins
by The Mogambo Guru "On a stand-still basis for foreign exporters, we would have to pay prices that are 20% higher for our imports, just for them to break even when converting dollars back into their native currencies! Hahaha! We pay more for things! Welcome to the hell of a falling currency!" 04/15/08 - Melting a Grammy for the Gold
by The Mogambo Guru "I hope you have a good grip on your hat because it is going to fly up off of your freaking head when I tell you that right now the S&P500 is sporting a P/E of 21, and the freaking Dow is so overly-valued that it is selling at a P/E of 53!" 04/14/08 - Cursing the Loss of Purchasing Power
by The Mogambo Guru "This amazing phenomenon proves either that the government's Plunge Protection Team exists and is massively operating to intervene in the markets, or that people are truly idiots. Or maybe delightful little fairies guard our dreams and protect us in life!" 04/11/08 - Government Spending Burns the Toast
by The Mogambo Guru "This same bankrupt America is getting ready to send out $160 billion in 'economic stimulus' checks, where the government is literally giving people free money even though the government is borrowing like crazy just to keep afloat, which means that we that are truly, truly toast." 04/10/08 - Not-So-Quiet Food Riots
by The Mogambo Guru "And worse yet for us alcohol-besotted worthless lushes out here, heroically keeping bartenders and comely barmaids gainfully employed year around, the price of hops, an integral ingredient in beer making, has soared from $4 a pound to $40." 04/09/08 - Perched on an Economic Fault Line
by The Mogambo Guru "If Saudi Arabia and the other Gulf states end up cutting their ties to the dollar, secure in the knowledge their petro-economies would emerge stronger from the upheaval, the process might well have begun in the summer of last year - when Dick Cheney tried to line up Arab support for an attack on Iran." 04/08/08 - Trillions Embarrass a Billion-Dollar Bulwark
by The Mogambo Guru "Half of the Fed's stash of government debt has been used up already! Yikes! And how big is the entire rest of the Fed's stash of government securities? A piddly $629 billion! Hahaha!" 04/07/08 - The Government Genie Flips a Coin
by The Mogambo Guru "If you think that a negative lease rate for gold is weird… You are a winner! You have won the chance to choose between the two Mogambo Doors Of Mystery (MDOM) and claim the fabulous prize that is waiting there for you!" 04/04/08 - A Crude Source of Welfare
by The Mogambo Guru "In short, apparently these countries need the price of oil to stay high to pay for their welfare expenses…which means that they will necessarily be raising oil prices again pretty soon…" 04/03/08 - Another Bar of Golden Idiots
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, then, you're an idiot, Frank! A big, stupid moron! In fact, all you stupid people in this bar are stupid, because you all think that you are not going to be destroyed by the fires of an inflationary hell…" 04/02/08 - Insane Economic News of the Day
by The Mogambo Guru "And as more Insane Economic News Of The Day (IENOTD), the Fed's personal stash of U.S. government debt is down another gigantic $48 billion last week! $48 billion! In one week! One freaking week!" 04/01/08 - Financial Humor isn't Funny
by The Mogambo Guru "Mr. Dunkelberg is more direct, and says that people who depend on their little bits of interest that they make on their saved money (like the elderly) 'are being screwed by the Fed'" 03/31/08 - The Voyages of the Economic Enterprise
by The Mogambo Guru "Computer, research the economic history of the planet Earth and all the planets in this galaxy, and find any instance of a healthy economic boom that started after 'the biggest orgy of speculation and debt creation' the planet had ever seen!" 03/28/08 - Kids Go to Gold Camp
by The Mogambo Guru "How in the hell can the global glut of derivatives be 37 times as big as total, global GDP? Hell, just a yield of 0.1%, a tenth of a percent, would mean that $516 billion would be needed just to annually service the debt of that $516 trillion! Hahahaha!" 03/27/08 - The Great Silver Sell Out Caper
by The Mogambo Guru "I know that you think it is such a bargain that you cannot resist, and so I urge you to hurry, hurry, hurry to the Mogambo Silver Storage Service (MSSS), where our motto is, 'Send us the money, then we'll talk.'" 03/26/08 - Ingesting the Polluted Ocean of Commerce
by The Mogambo Guru "Now get this: Total reserves are $43 billion (about the same as it has been for more than a decade!), and out of that total, $17 billion of it is borrowed from the Fed! Hahahaha! We are so freaking doomed!" 03/25/08 - Inflationary Economy Causes Massive Coronary
by The Mogambo Guru "I am frantically pantomiming 'dialing the telephone' with the little mobility I have in my right arm, trying to get someone to call 911 to get me a little medical attention, and maybe save my life from the heart attack caused by such terrible news about inflation." 03/24/08 - Risk Management Addiction
by The Mogambo Guru "I sat the kids down and told them that gambling with every dime I can squeeze out of anything is not 'gambling' anymore; it is 'risk management', and it is now obvious that I am a modern kind of guy seeking to 'maximize risk-adjusted rates of return'!" 03/21/08 - Sadly Repeating Economic History
by The Mogambo Guru "And even if you COULD pay off everyone's debts, to have another boom with the existing structure left intact would require the same degree of economic stupidity all over again! And nobody is that stupid. Are they?" 03/20/08 - Golden Codpiece Protection Strategy
by The Mogambo Guru "I was going to unveil the new product from Mogambo Dubious Enterprises (MDE), which was a codpiece for men, made from ingots of pure gold, which makes wealth not only portable, but also protective in so many other important ways…" 03/19/08 - A Bunch of Government Gobbledy-Gook
by The Mogambo Guru "I am happy to report that Mr. Williams kindly does respond to requests from subscribers, and is now introducing the SGS-Alternate Unemployment Rate, which sounds like a bunch of government gobbledy-gook, which it actually is…" 03/18/08 - Stepping Up the Spending Surveillance
by The Mogambo Guru "I note with alarm that with the index at 1293, everybody who bought the stocks of this index since the third quarter of 2006 has lost money! Hahaha! Nice investing, dudes!" 03/17/08 - Borrowing to Get a Better Bargain
by The Mogambo Guru "And what percent of each class felt like they were so far in debt that 'they will never be able to get out'? Oops! Low income: 25 percent. Middle income: 14 percent. Upper income: 10 percent!" 03/14/08 - Bad News for Tax Revenues
by The Mogambo Guru "Losses on this kind of scale are the worst kind of bad news for tax revenues and those governments and recipients who depend on tax revenues, which rhymes so well that I am going to turn it into a Mogambo Hit Song (MHS)…" 03/13/08 - The Dinosaur Gold-Standard Economy
by The Mogambo Gugu "The dinosaurs had a monetary system based on gold, which explains why the historical record shows absolutely no inflation in prices during the entire Jurassic period, and anyone who says otherwise is a lying bag of crap." 03/12/08 - In Phony-Baloney Money We Trust?
by The Mogambo Guru "And the good news is that CD buyers are looking downright intelligent compared to the morons buying two-year notes, which have been bid up so high that they are nominally yielding less than 1.5%!" 03/11/08 - Golden Lifeboats Flee the Titanic
by The Mogambo Guru "Gold is essentially a rock! So why is it so valuable? Why do people always turn to gold at the end? The answer is that there is nothing else to take its place as a store of wealth that does not rot, corrode or disappear…" 03/10/08 - Bernanke Gets it Backwards
by The Mogambo Guru "The rise in retail prices is caused by…the Federal Reserve creating excessive amounts of money and credit. High prices, therefore, are the RESULT of the ridiculous excesses of the Federal Reserve, not the cause." 03/07/08 - An Apple a Day Will Kill You
by The Mogambo Guru "An apple a day may keep the doctor away, as the saying goes, but you had better not say that anymore, either, because Big Pharma has yet to invent a drug that emulates apples, either!" 03/06/08 - "It Makes Your Money Worthless - Guaranteed!"
by The Mogambo Guru "There is no known example, in the history of the world, where a fiat currency was debased in a wild fractional-reserve multiplication by the greedy banks that did NOT end badly. And 100% of the time is as close as you can get to 'guaranteed'." 03/05/08 - Drunk With Absolute Purchasing Power
by The Mogambo Guru "So if people could buy oil with gold, the price would have been unchanged for 60 years! Wow! Now you see the beauty of gold as money; prices never change! Your purchasing power is absolute!" 03/04/08 - Gold Explosion in a Precious Metal Mine Field
by The Mogambo Guru "With an M3 money supply of about $12 trillion, this means that if gold rose to $46,153.00 per ounce, the entire money supply could be 100% backed by gold! We'd get back to the gold standard required by the Constitution!" 03/03/08 - A World Without Demand
by The Mogambo Guru "Oops! Without demand, supply overwhelms supply, and prices plummet, and without new derivative sales to finance the existing clot of derivatives, things go from bad to worse!" 02/29/08 - The Inevitable Doom of Inflation Targeting
by The Mogambo Guru "But price increases of such magnitude that they have never been seen before? And in the food business, which means that prices for food will rise faster (and probably higher) than at any time in history? Yikes!" 02/28/08 - Heads I Win, Tails I Break Even
by The Mogambo Guru "And the borrowers just saw a chance to benefit by the bank's stupidity, and they borrowed the money on the 'heads I win, tails I break even' chance that they could later sell at a profit or walk away." 02/27/08 - TFC Goes Down on the Upside
by The Mogambo Guru "But if TFC was plotted out on this mysterious logarithmic paper, the line on the graph would be sloping down, even though the line on the familiar linear graph of TFC would still be going up!" 02/26/08 - The Euro Only Commits Misdemeanors
by The Mogambo Guru "'Only' 15.6% inflation in prices! It's like your stupid children getting arrested, and they brag all the way home about how they haven't ever been charged with a felony, only misdemeanors, while their friends have all done hard time!" 02/25/08 - Nearly Perfect Data
by The Mogambo Guru "And for a little perspective, that $3.594 trillion in additional debt means that, at even 5% interest, the government is now paying out $180 billion a year, just in the additional interest payments on just this additional debt…" 02/22/08 - Economic Miseries Measured by the Second
by The Mogambo Guru "And if you wonder exactly what I mean by 'doomed', I will demonstrate by telling you that the video I am offering you is priced $499.99 today, but it will be $699.99 next year. You figure it out." 02/21/08 - 401-Keg Plan Matures in Britain
by The Mogambo Guru "Then I recall that the average retirement plan in America, like a 401(k), has somewhere between $25,000 and $60,000 in it, and I wonder how long that would last if one lousy chicken cost $15 million. Hahahaha!" 02/20/08 - Learning How to Spell "Inflationary Depression"
by The Mogambo Guru "Of course, now that actual reserves in the banks are (unbelievably) no longer required, financial corruption in the banks has now reached its zenith, as the banks are now totally free to create as much money as Ben Bernanke will let them…" 02/19/08 - "Everybody Hurts" - Inflation's Theme Song
by The Mogambo Guru "The apparently salubrious result is that the money is created out of thin air, and nobody has so much as a dime taken away from them, dorkface! In fact, everybody involved has the same or more money!" 02/18/08 - The Happy Mogambo Retirement Fund
by The Mogambo Guru "They only want to talk about how they found out that the 0.5% deduction in their paychecks for HMRF is actually the Happy Mogambo Retirement Fund (HMRF), which means that I am taking money out of their paychecks for my own use." 02/15/08 - The Deadly Quicksand of Deficit Spending
by The Mogambo Guru "It is then that the movie turns into a farce, as Ms. Pelosi is crying out, 'Quick! Give him some more money!' Hahahaha! Nice work, Ms. Pelosi! Groucho Marx would have been proud of us both!" 02/14/08 - Prehistoric Problems With Fiat Currency
by The Mogambo Guru "And it is made absolutely terrifying when you learn that all of the money that has been lost is, amazingly, borrowed and is still owed! Hahaha! This is the downside of having an economic system where debt creates money! Hahaha!" 02/13/08 - Saddled by Electronic Pixie Dust
by The Mogambo Guru "And it doesn't take a real genius to see that higher costs for producers means they will have to charge higher prices, which means that when Brits buy something from now on, they will pay higher prices." 02/12/08 - Trillion Dollar Bush
by The Mogambo Guru "For me, it's all about the money and how all of this spending will be accomplished by a brain-dead Federal Reserve creating the money out of thin air so that the government can borrow it, and how all of this money will drive the national debt up more…" 02/11/08 - Oil Crisis Rush Hour
by The Mogambo Guru "The dollar going down in purchasing power, which is the same as an increase in prices, has cost them 13% in one year, all thanks to the despicable Federal Reserve creating all that money and credit, so that the government could borrow it and spend it…" 02/08/08 - Enough of this Economic Claptrap
by The Mogambo Guru "Enough of this econometric claptrap crap! Lowering interest rates may send the stock of Mogambo Global Enterprises up, but the management (me) is still the same stupid embezzling halfwit who continually has us on the brink of disaster!" 02/07/08 - The Fresh But Ephemeral Hell of the U.S. Economy
by The Mogambo Guru "Not only have bank reserves not gone up in 10 years by so much as a dime, but the Treasury bonds that the Fed bought, by creating the money to buy them, are also disappearing! As Dorothy Parker so famously said, 'What fresh hell is this?'" 02/06/08 - The Mogambo 'Big Budget' Movie Review
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, he couldn't be more right about us spending ourselves to death, as the national debt is actually $9.1 trillion, already grown by $500 billion since he was interviewed for a movie so new that it just premiered! Hahaha!" 02/05/08 - Golden Prices from Decreased Production
by The Mogambo Guru "Ergo, the price of gold must equilibrate lower supply versus higher demand at a higher price! To those who own gold, or plan to own gold before things get kicked into high gear, this means, 'Wheee!…'" 02/04/08 - Freaking Doomed by Doubling Power
by The Mogambo Guru "Hoping that they were wrong, because this rate of inflation would be horrendous, I went to Mr. William's ShadowStats.com to find, sure enough, that inflation has taken a sudden spike to 12%, with no sign of stopping! Yikes!" 02/01/08 - A Million Millions
by The Mogambo Guru "The shock of the exclamation points, coupled with the revelation that the total losses are going to be at least 10 times as big as estimates project, temporarily revived me by jolting me into a Mindless Mogambo Episode Of Anger And Outrage (MMEOAAO)…" 01/31/08 - Candy Vs. Currency: A Debat on Value
by The Mogambo Guru "Hershey, 'the world's largest candy maker', has to raise its prices on a third of its chocolate candy by 13% because of the soaring prices of energy, milk and cocoa. And they are going to raise prices by 3% over Hershey's entire U.S. product line!" 01/30/08 - The Tragic Tale of the Last Fool in Line
by The Mogambo Guru "And the last guy, who may be otherwise known as the Last Fool In Line who bought at the exact top at the exact highest price, still has to find somebody to sell to at a profit, or the system goes into loss mode." 01/29/08 - An Indication the Economy is Lagging
by The Mogambo Guru "And, worse, the Lagging Indicator has been outdistancing both the Leading and Coincident indicators for months and months, too, indicating that costs are going up. And they were. And they are. And they will continue to do so." 01/28/08 - Bernanke's Magic Money Button
by The Mogambo Guru "Fortunately, I was heavily sedated and in a straightjacket at the time, tied to a chair as the minimum precautions to watching Federal Reserve chairmen appearing in public, especially in front of one clueless Congressional bunch of yahoos or another." 01/25/08 - Keynesian Quackery
by The Mogambo Guru "And now some piddly $150 billion is going to make a big difference in preventing the overdue bust at the end of the biggest boom the world has ever seen? Hahahaha! Stop! I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts! Hahahaha! Stop! Stop! Hahahaha!" 01/24/08 - The Bank Robbing Effect of Financial Desperation
by The Mogambo Guru "The point is that not only is bank robbing 40% more popular by 40% than last year, but the FBI used to solve 75% of bank robberies in 2003, but only about half now." 01/23/08 - A Piddly $4.4 Billion 'Drop in the Bucket'
by The Mogambo Guru "OF COURSE $4.4 billion is not enough! The economic system and the players in it have to absorb trillions of dollars of current and future losses! A piddly $4.4 billion? Hahahaha! Talk about your proverbial 'drop in the bucket'! Hahaha!" 01/22/08 - Avoiding Reponsibility
by The Mogambo Guru "And let's not forget that this lying lowlife loser, St. Louis Federal Reserve President William Poole, is a guy about whom Marketwatch.com reports, 'Last year, he voted in favor of all the FOMC's rate cuts'! Hahaha! What a creepy little worm!" 01/21/08 - Oil Battles Gold for Investment Supremacy
by The Mogambo Guru "Naturally, even a bonehead like me knows that a one percent chance is not very good, and I saw that my chances of him coming across with that cool thousand bucks was now slipping away." 01/18/08 - The Golden Commodity Compass
by The Mogambo Guru "You will be glad to know that we have given up slaughtering American natives, although we keep our skills up by killing thousands of natives in OTHER countries, but we don't do it for gold. Nowadays, we do it for money and oil." 01/17/08 - The Futility of the Economic Weatherman
by The Mogambo Guru "Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke has no such qualms about shame, and said he is ready to take "substantive additional action", which the media and markets took as saying, 'Rates are going down, dudes!'" 01/16/08 - Let Gold Yell For You
by The Mogambo Guru "And what the chart shows, but nobody is saying, is that it wasn't until 1960 that the Dow high, again rose high enough to equal the very peak in 1929. 'Investing for the long term'! Hahaha!" 01/15/08 - Stealing Metaphors for Excess Money
by The Mogambo Guru "So, if inflation in prices is not caused by a depreciating dollar or monetary policy, then Mr. Central Bank Governor Sultan Bin Nasser al-Suwaidi better find out what in the hell is causing it, and pronto!" 01/14/08 - Free Money to the Rescue
by The Mogambo Guru "And when that government check hits my mailbox, brother, I'll show you exactly how giving people free money stimulates spending! Whee! Insanity in economics is fun! And it will be ironically profitable if you use the money to buy gold! Whee!" 01/11/08 - Gold in the Time of Economic Cholera
by The Mogambo Guru "As a pedagogical aside, the use of the rare "double exclamation point", indicating extreme importance and used to appropriately punctuate the horror of 50.1% annual inflation in food, is considered (in some circles) to be redundant." 01/10/08 - Incredible Inedible Ethanol
by The Mogambo Guru "An entire third of the grain output of the American farm system will disappear from the world's food supply? On top of the terrifying increases in prices we are already seeing? Yow! We are totally, totally, totally freaking screwed!" 01/09/08 - Free Money is Surprisingly Popular
by The Mogambo Guru "Not surprisingly, 'The Fed announcement indicated that the auction process it began last month has been successful in providing a source of loans for cash-strapped banks.' Hahaha! Free money is popular? Hahaha! Who knew? Hahaha! Popular?" 01/08/08 - "Will Work for Taxes"
by The Mogambo Guru "Instead of the town saying, 'Oh, my God! What kind of ravenous vampires have we become?' and lowering their…damned taxes, 'The town is pushing a program that would let seniors work part-time…to help pay off some of their property taxes.'" 01/07/08 - The Cornered Rat Defense of Inflationary Collapse
by The Mogambo Guru "You gotta admit; it seems to be a compelling argument; the money supply will fall as loans go bad, which means consumer prices will fall. And with loans going bad, nobody is going to either make a loan or take one, and so the money supply will not grow." 01/04/08 - The Increase of Deadweight Losses
by The Mogambo Guru "The beauty of a gold-as-money economic system is that inflation in prices is all but impossible under a gold standard under normal conditions with a restrained banking system, and…ruinous inflation is inevitable under a fiat currency standard." 01/03/08 - Solid Gold Silver Surge
by The Mogambo Guru "And if you think that silver could go to its rough 15-to-1 long-term ratio to gold, then a $1,200 per ounce gold price would mean an $80 per ounce silver! Wow! The stuff is selling for 15 bucks right now!" 01/02/08 - Well Worth the 20 Bucks
by The Mogambo Guru "Now you know just a teensy, weensy part of the reason why the Fed is creating so much money and credit; they have to, just to pay the interest on the debt! All of which will turn into, I am sorry to say, inflation in prices." 12/31/07 - Paying More for Less Beer
by The Mogambo Guru "And don't look at me with that incredulous look on your face! I mean, the average stockholder and the average bondholder have been continuously losing money for years and years! They don't raise a stink because they don't know it…" 12/28/07 - The Santa Cigarettes Caper
by The Mogambo Guru "Naturally, I want to know if Mr. LaRouche smokes or not, and maybe get an ally in this issue I call The Santa Cigarettes Caper, someone to watch my back against my wife and the stupid kids…" 12/27/07 - Gold Obsession Based on Money Creation
by The Mogambo Guru "And an epic scale in the creation of money and credit…means inflation in consumer prices of an equally epic scale!…That is why I am so freaked out, and why I am always saying, 'We're freaking doomed!' and why I am obsessed with guns and gold…" 12/26/07 - Optimism in the Face of Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "…everyone is in apparent agreement that…like heroic armored knights on horseback saving damsels in distress by slaying dragons, the central banks must arrange irresponsible, insane infusions of infinite credit and money!" 12/21/07 - Cashiers Responsible for Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "I paused and waited for her to think I was done yelling. She tentatively swept a can of creamed corn over the scanner, the buzzer went 'beep', and I could see her relax as she worked her way back into the routine. That's when I pounced!" 12/20/07 - Consuming Less Confident Food Prices
by The Mogambo Guru "Well, the kids didn't like that news any better when it comes from official government sources, but at least they weren't rolling their eyes and making rude remarks about what a crappy father I am, which was nice for a change!" 12/19/07 - To Negative Infinity - And Beyond
by The Mogambo Guru "In short, the banks loaned every additional dime of the trillions of dollars that they took in! And then more on top of that! No additional reserves at all! Not a freaking additional dime of reserves has been added in a decade or more!" 12/18/07 - Economics Ain't Pretty
by The Mogambo Guru "Anyway, prices going up is why it looks like factory orders increased, and is the reason why I am gagging up blood, and if any of it gets on your shoes, don't come running to me because I never said that economics was pretty." 12/17/07 - Fictitious Beneficial Inflation
by The Mogambo Guru "Let me get this straight; grumpy Russians, in the midst of a gloomy winter, are experiencing inflation in food prices of 1.2% in a month? And prices are up 10% in the last 49 weeks, meaning that prices are still rising like a rocket? Yikes!" 12/14/07 - The Thin Mogambo
by The Mogambo Guru "But the reality is that that this magnificent 600% return was over the last seven years, and the Lipper Mutual Fund Performance Index now has gold-oriented funds being up 23% this year alone!" 12/13/07 - An Economic Law of Physics
by The Mogambo Guru "So I am looking at this Big, Big Problem (BBP)…when I was saved by a little-known Law Of Physics: 'If at any time you find yourself doing a transfinite amount of work, the answer can be obtained by inspection.' | 
The Mogambo Guru Lives!